Tuesday, November 14, 2006

GET THEE BEHIND ME

Honestly. If this sounds humorous it is not supposed to. I truly believe that the devil is after me. Everytime I try to do something good it comes back to bite me. I learned many years ago not to talk about people, they will always find out and it will sound much worse than what you originally meant to say ugly. Remember to pray because you will need God really bad the next day and then feel guilty you didn't go to Him when you really didn't need Him. Don't go to places that you aren't supposed to go because SOMEONE will see you there whether you know it or not. Always do your best the first time because doing things over again is not fun. Tell the truth at all costs because "you can't hide your lying eyes". Which by the way is my favorite old song. Be an example to everyone because you might cause someone to stumble. This is an old Church of Christ scare tactic but it is TRUE. I know because someone made me stumble tonight. Tonight was our Ladies Bible Study night and I decided about 3 this afternoon that I just had way too much to do at home tonight. I wasn't very productive this weekend and now I have double to do before hosting a church party Sun. night. Plus, company coming in next week for the holidays. So, I came straight home at 4:30 and set about domestic chores. Whistling while I worked. We, the Whitfields, whistle alot. I started a load of wash. Folded another load. Mentally making notes about all I was going to get done tonight. Big, fat and juicy hamburgers sounded yummy so I started cooking my speciality. I set the table. I flipped the burgers and then remembered I had left the lemon/pepper out on the deck at the grill. So, out I went. Singing as I go. I bounced back in the back door and fell off the step down in the family room. I was totally breathless and writhing in pain before I could call out for help. Only the fish in the aquarium witnessed this horrific event. They all swam over to the side of the tank. I heard the same familiar pop/crack as I did when I fell going out the door going to church a few months ago. That time I drove myself to the ER. BAD SPRAIN, they said. So, tonight I diagnosed myself with another bad sprain and have been on the couch with an ice pack for 3 hours. Still throbbing and MAD at my graceful self. Laundry surrounds me. Dishes are in the sink. The vacuum is in the middle of the floor. Nothing is done. I don't have a maid. Are you seeing a pattern here? Bible study......out the door to church......fall........I was thinking that if it felt better tomorrow I would miss Wed. class and catch up...BUT NOT ON YOUR LIFE. The devil is real and he is circling my house.

P.S. It is 630AM. I am just home from the ER. They do NOT like to see me coming in the back door. The only 2 times I have, I was having a heart attack. This time they had a heart attack! I told them to settle down it was ONLY MY POOR ANKLE. Honestly, I do not think I have ever had anything hurt so bad. It throbbed all night and I had it propped and iced. I finally got up and found pain meds but sat up in the chair until 4 AM so G could take me for an XRAY. It is a bad bad sprain but the worst pain I foresee is my armpits from these crutches. I have never had crutches before and what they don't realize is that I am not coordinated anyway. I will probably be back with the other one within 24 hours. I am home from work today with a dr. note to Rest Ice Compression Elevate. Or as they say RICE it. It is going to be a long long day. Being still is not my virtue. My mother is on the way to take care of me.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

AMEN

TOP 10 REASONS THAT GOD CREATED EVE 10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him. 7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself. 6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb. 5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone! And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve . . 1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."

I love that God has a sense of humor. I know He laughed at this.