Sunday, December 31, 2006

Who Is Auld ang Zyne?

Happy New Year to all of you. I hope that the New Year is filled with blessings galore as you seek and find the Lord more in your heart. He is coming back VERY soon. Don't say I didn't tell you! I wish for you good health and happiness to fill your lives. I hope you have more friends than enemies. If you don't, then pray for your enemies! Pray for them anyway. I hope you learn how important it is to have a prayer life and to study God's Word. It isn't just a Sunday kind of love. It's a daily.....hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second kind of love.

I'll be honest and say that I don't have an idea what the New Year holds for me. There are new babies coming. There are family members that are very sick. There is medicine to have refilled and lab tests to take. There are more Dr.'s colonoscopy year too ( TMI, I know. ), I need a new crown on a bad tooth, I have got to start a healthier diet. I have got to start a consistent exercise program. I was doing so good until 7/4. I must start all over again now. I hate being a procrastinator. I'll work on that~tomorrow.

I will say this.......I don't know about tomorrow and I don't care. I just know for now that all around me life is good. I continue to pray for strength not for a perfect life but to accept and be strong with the one I have. Which, right now seems pretty perfect.

Choose to live your life for right this year. Seek out happiness don't wait for it to come to you. Seek out the good in everyone. Think happy and meaningful thoughts and speak the same. Find God in the purest and simplest of places. Worship Him with all your heart. Encourage me to do the same as I will you. I know the right things to do, I just don't like to always do them.

So, my New Year's advice to you to remember is this:

"A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts. But no. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping is what we are become."

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Some Resolutions to Be Made

This was rather interesting. So, just in case you want to get out of the kitchen in the next few days and act like you are doing important work from home on the computer, try this yourself. I think there are some things I need to work on. Hope everyone is having a great time this holiday weekend.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 6
Mind: 5.5
Body: 5.7
Spirit: 5.2
Friends/Family: 7.5
Love: 5.5
Finance: 3.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Silent Night

I have been sitting in the quietness of my home listening to the rain fall and watching the Christmas lights on the tree. It's Texas and it is almost 70 degrees outside. I have laundry to do, dishes to put up, and gifts to wrap. For some reason I can't convince myself to do anything. In the excitement of this season I can't stop thinking about those families who don't have anything to be excited about. Maybe it comes from working in the public schools. The children are breaking my heart. I have heard more than once this week, "Santa, isn't coming to my house." "We don't have a tree at home." I feel helpless that I can't scoop them all up and bring them home to make gingerbread men while Christmas carols play. That we can't all wrap gifts and exchange them with each other. That I can't tuck them each in bed warm with their tummies full. Yet, I spent hours decorating my house. I have spent countless dollars on gifts that I probably had more fun buying than anyone will have receiving. I feel so selfish. I have more than words can express. I have treasures that will remain on this earth when all else is past. Yet, if I have any gift to offer it would be to look beyond the physical that we place so much emphasis on. To take simple things like a hug, a kind word, or an understanding touch as a gift. This world is not our home. If at no other time do I reflect God to others, I pray it is now. So tonight, I know I am way deep. Too deep for myself. I have given myself a headache. I have sat and basked in the happiness that I have been able to experience on a daily basis and probably taken for granted. That I serve a risen Saviour. That He loves me unconditionally and forever. That I am part of a promise. That my blessings are so abundant and I am so undeserving. I am so blessed and it will be my unending exclamation throughout the New Year.

Click on the link below to see a beautifully done movie and words of inspiration for Christmas. Sit in the darkness if you can and listen and read every word.

Silent Night

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Refine Me.... Refine Me......Dear Lord

A pretty awesome story...
Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study .That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it." If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Decision to a Personal Dilemma

I am not one of those people who are overly fond of reading those "bragging" Christmas letters about how the entire family has exceeded in everything they attempted for the entire year. About how everything is just so easy and wonderful. How smart their children are. How successful their careers are. Etc. Etc. Etc. Nonetheless, I always receive a few every year. I always read them and I am sure I smirk my little smug smirk that says, "No one can be that perfect!"

So here is my dilemma. I want to send one out this year about my family. Only it will not be a normal one. Most of these people that will get our card I only hear from once a year along with an occasional email forward. They don't know the half of what I have been dealing with all year. Not near as much as you do ....those who have read my blog this year. They don't know the bad things that have happened along with the good things. Even though they don't mention theirs I am going to tell them mine. Here is a brief synopsis of how it will go the BAD WITH THE GOOD:

Dear Ones,
Yes, the picture attached shows my beautiful and smiling family. This picture was made after Texas lost to the Aggies. We are wearing our Horns shirts totally believing it was a rigged game to save some coach's neck. They are smiling only because I threatened them all. This picture was made at 9:00 PM at night on deck outside. It was freezing. Macy had already had to get marched into the house and threatened by her mother, my daughter. Reid was standing by me because he didn't want to stand by his sister while she got in trouble. Ashley had to wear her jean jacket over her shirt. That is her story though. Otherwise we all coordinated nicely and the jacket made a definite fashion statement. The 4 guys on the back row never moved. They had the exact same look in the entire roll that was shot. No obligations except to look handsome. The girls, myself included, were all shuffling on the front row trying to get the project moving so we could go inside. The picture being made in itself is a Christmas miracle. I was determined......or as my children would lovingly and respectfully say........stubborn and "hellbent".

So, dear ones, here is a story of our year. taxes about killed us along with Christmas debt. Mom and Dad both were very sick with the flu, strep and a touch of pneumonia. After 2 trips to the ER..... I put Mom in the hospital and "locked" Daddy in the house to keep him in. I mean I literally had to call for help from my sisters because he would not stay put. As sick as he was! I couldn't be at the hospital with mom and keeping him from sneaking out in the cold.
February.......a busy month of birthdays for our family. I let the maid go. Daddy had some minor surgery. Outpatient. All is fine.
March......A month full of dr. appointments and G started working nights for the month.
April......A dear friend from church died after battling cancer.
May.......A month full of buying wedding gifts and hostessing showers. I went through a book of checks. The end of another school year made me think ever so briefly about retiring.
June.......The month for mammograms, well checks, and bathing suits. I rarely left the pool. I checked the mail about once every 2 weeks. I thought I was getting that phobia that people have when they don't want to leave their houses.
July.........I had another heart attack and spent the night of the 4th in STARFLIGHT headed to the Heart Hospital. The rest of the month is spent at the doctor and on the couch. That is until I returned to the office on the 25th for school registration. Did I mention I thought about retirement?
August......9 family birthdays....................$$$$$ Back to school $$$$$$$ More blood work and tests.
September......More tests this time in Houston. Daddy had a TIA ( small stroke ) Spent several days in the hospital. On the happiest side, we found out we were going to be grandparents again in April. Am still grinning in December. Got a nice raise at work.
October......Began remodeling household areas that I never should have started.....$$$$$$ need therapy for too much HGTV. Went to Abilene to see son and daughter in laws new home. Took grandchildren. Had a WONDERFUL TIME
November.....I don't think I participated in November. Although, I do remember a wonderful Thanksgiving with family. Found out we were going to be grandparents again in June.......really grinning now. I think I'll grin forever.
December......I have NO earthly idea how it got here. I have not finished shopping. There are 20 more days til' Christmas. I have to have a stress test. A month full of parties every weekend and even some during the week. The house to straighten and get ready for company. Gifts to wrap. Food to cook. Still have to go to work. Property taxes are coming due again. Notes coming due at the bank. We need a new roof. We need new carpet. Did I mention I want to retire?

Hope your year was extra happy too. Me? I am just glad to be here. Have a wonderful New Year 2007.


the &*&^%&*%% family

So what do you think? Should I send it?

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Bubble Lights

I'm not known for my great memory. In fact, I daily think that someone is zapping brain cells away and stealing my past. Every now and then something, a sound, a smell, a voice, a story, or just something random makes me pause and think about something that was a special memory. We were decorating the tree tonight and a rush of memories came back of all the many trees I have decorated. Or participated in decorating. We always had REAL trees. The smell of usually cedar fills my brain with the sights and sounds of Christmas. We always had the most special Christmases. My parents made sure of that. When I became a parent, I started my own Christmas memories but they always included my parents, sisters, neices, nephews and now grandchildren. I have found that it is lots of work, anticipation, shopping, and cooking. I wouldn't have it any other way. We grew up decorating the tree and hanging the stockings and that was it. That was all anyone ever did. Wham.....bam......we were done. Now, don't ask me who started this, the whole house is a Christmas extravaganza. It takes me days to get the tree just right. Then the mantle. Then every nook and cranny of the house and porch is like the North Pole. I am not complaining I love it! When it is finished I bask in the wonder of it. I have parties, invite friends over, beg strangers in off the street, open the door to the neighborhood dogs. Anyone is welcome. There is nothing like it. I am NOT a perfectionist. I certainly am not. Everything turns out different every year. I can't remember one year to the next what went where. It makes it all seem new. So, if you are in the neighborhood, please stop by. I have a candy cane with your name on it.

Hot chocolate or eggnog? chocolate Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?Unwrapped every child's in a different location Colored lights on your tree/house or white? colored on the tree and white on the house Do you hang mistletoe? Yes, very realistic plastic When do you put up decorations? Christmas Music after T'giving, house decorations in the beginning of December, and full-on tree, etc, What does your favorite christmas meal include? Meal? Turkeys/ham/all the usual holiday casseroles/ tons of sweets and Aunt Kathy's sugar cookies Favorite christmas memory from childhood?Sleeping on the floor at Granny Price's watching the bubble lights on her "Charlie Brown" tree
How and when did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember. And I'm glad. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Kids, yes. Adults, no. How do you decorate your christmas tree? TONS AND TONS of decorations from Christmases past and present Snow! Love it or leave it? Love it, and miss it. But, hey, it's Central Texas Can you ice skate?In theory, yes, but I haven't done it in many years.
Do you remember your favorite gift? A real life baby doll from the "dime" store in Stephenville. And of course, my Barbie's wedding dress. What's the most important thing about christmas for you? I love being with family. All crowded and noisy. Gifts galore. And precious children with eyes wide. And of course the reason for all my season....SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING and FALL.......Jesus Christ What is your favorite christmas tradition? Making new ones every year. What tops your tree? An angel. What is your favorite christmas song? O'Holy Night. It breaks me to the very soul. I sob. But, I love them all.

What about you? Merry Christmas

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Honestly. If this sounds humorous it is not supposed to. I truly believe that the devil is after me. Everytime I try to do something good it comes back to bite me. I learned many years ago not to talk about people, they will always find out and it will sound much worse than what you originally meant to say ugly. Remember to pray because you will need God really bad the next day and then feel guilty you didn't go to Him when you really didn't need Him. Don't go to places that you aren't supposed to go because SOMEONE will see you there whether you know it or not. Always do your best the first time because doing things over again is not fun. Tell the truth at all costs because "you can't hide your lying eyes". Which by the way is my favorite old song. Be an example to everyone because you might cause someone to stumble. This is an old Church of Christ scare tactic but it is TRUE. I know because someone made me stumble tonight. Tonight was our Ladies Bible Study night and I decided about 3 this afternoon that I just had way too much to do at home tonight. I wasn't very productive this weekend and now I have double to do before hosting a church party Sun. night. Plus, company coming in next week for the holidays. So, I came straight home at 4:30 and set about domestic chores. Whistling while I worked. We, the Whitfields, whistle alot. I started a load of wash. Folded another load. Mentally making notes about all I was going to get done tonight. Big, fat and juicy hamburgers sounded yummy so I started cooking my speciality. I set the table. I flipped the burgers and then remembered I had left the lemon/pepper out on the deck at the grill. So, out I went. Singing as I go. I bounced back in the back door and fell off the step down in the family room. I was totally breathless and writhing in pain before I could call out for help. Only the fish in the aquarium witnessed this horrific event. They all swam over to the side of the tank. I heard the same familiar pop/crack as I did when I fell going out the door going to church a few months ago. That time I drove myself to the ER. BAD SPRAIN, they said. So, tonight I diagnosed myself with another bad sprain and have been on the couch with an ice pack for 3 hours. Still throbbing and MAD at my graceful self. Laundry surrounds me. Dishes are in the sink. The vacuum is in the middle of the floor. Nothing is done. I don't have a maid. Are you seeing a pattern here? Bible study......out the door to church......fall........I was thinking that if it felt better tomorrow I would miss Wed. class and catch up...BUT NOT ON YOUR LIFE. The devil is real and he is circling my house.

P.S. It is 630AM. I am just home from the ER. They do NOT like to see me coming in the back door. The only 2 times I have, I was having a heart attack. This time they had a heart attack! I told them to settle down it was ONLY MY POOR ANKLE. Honestly, I do not think I have ever had anything hurt so bad. It throbbed all night and I had it propped and iced. I finally got up and found pain meds but sat up in the chair until 4 AM so G could take me for an XRAY. It is a bad bad sprain but the worst pain I foresee is my armpits from these crutches. I have never had crutches before and what they don't realize is that I am not coordinated anyway. I will probably be back with the other one within 24 hours. I am home from work today with a dr. note to Rest Ice Compression Elevate. Or as they say RICE it. It is going to be a long long day. Being still is not my virtue. My mother is on the way to take care of me.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


TOP 10 REASONS THAT GOD CREATED EVE 10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him. 7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself. 6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb. 5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone! And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve . . 1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."

I love that God has a sense of humor. I know He laughed at this.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Little to the Left

Several months ago I sang at a friend's daughter's wedding with Becky and Tawana. As a "thank you" she gave us each a gift certificate to receive a 45 minute massage. I don't think I ever needed one like I did today and I cashed in on that THANK YOU. For 45 glorious minutes, I didn't need to talk to anyone ( I didn't even know her anyway ). I didn't need to think. The room was dark, cold and some kind of Chinese music was playing. Not exactly in my top 10 musical selections but it was soothing. I did keep thinking of Memoirs of a Geisha which was a little distracting. As you must realize by now, it is virtually impossible to put my brain to sleep. But, I did the best I could. She knew what she was doing. She worked me from neck to foot. She kneaded, rolled, squirted some kind of hot stuff that smelled like lavender on me, she popped joints, wrestled knots in my shoulders the size of Irish potatoes and left my head for last. That's right I said my head. Now mind you, I am vain. I am known to fix my hair and makeup before scheduled surgeries. She, without my permission, removed the giant clip that held my hair coiffed up in a nice little wad. Before I knew it my hair was sticking straight up in every direction. It had enough hair spray on it to hold it that way too. It did feel so good to get a head massage but I must say that it took me 30 minutes to get that clip back in so I could exit the place. This is just a warning to those of you who have never had a full body massage. Your head is going to get kneaded and rubbed. Go in expecting this and take a hairbrush. At least I had dark glasses for the ride home.

Monday, October 23, 2006

What Time Is It?

I hate it when I do this. I came home today and looked around at all things that needed to be done. Then I said to myself, "Self, why don't you take a little nap and you'll feel so refreshed when you wake up. Ready to tackle all those projects...ready to finish up all the things you have left undone since yesterday. " Three hours later I woke up. It was dark outside. I looked at the clock. "OH MY, I am late for work!" I hit the floor. Running, however, is not the description for you. I was flopping, flailing and falling all over the furniture trying to decide what to do first. Where to go. Who to call. Roll my hair or take a bath. What am I going to wear? Or as Weezer, of Steel Magnolia fame, would say, "I didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt." Hope that isn't too offensive but it was funny when Weezer said it. Anyway, it took a few seconds to regain composure and realize that it was 7:30 PM. Rats, I still had time to cook supper, wash a few loads of clothes, and of course blog. Except it is now 9:30 PM and I really don't feel like doing anything.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Still Painting

Exactly one month ago today I told you my travails with all the extra adrenalin that flowed through me. All the projects I had started and left unfinished. Just a quick update on the progress or lack of it.......

1. The front door has been left as is.........the sanding has stopped. The idea to paint my beautiful stained door black receded to the depths of my mind. Instead, I made a beautiful fall wreath to welcome visitors to my home.

2. Only son's room has been finished. The bed has been made. The packed boxes and tubs are gone. Mission accomplished.

3. Daughter # 1's room has almost been transformed. Baskets of organization are now on the shelves. A new day/trundle bed is made up for company. My computer station is organized and I am surrounded by things that make me happy and smile. Please don't look in the closets or file drawers yet.

4. The bathroom that had wallpaper shreds hanging off after 2 straight weeks of picking is almost....almost finished. The sad news for my bank account was that professionals had to be called in. The happy news for me is that it is going to be beautiful.

5. Daughter # 2's room the door remains shut. I am scared to enter. I think all the things that have made these other 4 projects be accomplished have somehow crawled into that room to kill me when I open the door. Which will by the way be sometime towards the end of next week. Around Halloween. How appropriate.

When all of this chaos is through. A new roof will be put on this house. Followed very quickly by new flooring. Then I will call it quits for another 20 years. And let the next owners do whatever they want. By that time I should be settled snugly into the new wing of the local "home" playing BINGO and racing Cindy down the hall in my wheelchair.

Monday, October 09, 2006

A Stitch In Time

I guess the title is a little gross considering the facts. I'm home from Ashley's and the surgery went well. The dr. was able to put in the McDonald Cerclage along with an added stitch for precaution. If you know anything about high risk pregnancies or pre term labor that will make sense. However, I did not. At first he had planned to perform a cerclage procedure called the rescue cerclage. In the actual surgery he decided it was too risky for the safety of the baby. It would have prevented her from months of bed rest and ensured her of going close to full term. The McDonald cerclage is basically a safety stitch. It sews up the top of the cervix to help prevent pre term labor/early dilation, etc. The downside is that she will go on bedrest probably around Christmas. As soon as the baby grows more and more it will cause pressure on the stitches and bedrest will help give her more time and keep the weight off the cervix. So keep praying! I thank you for that, I really do. The sonogram and heartrate were perfectly normal and the baby had grown in 2 weeks.

It seems like all I ever talk about on my blog is medical stuff. You would think that we were this pitiful little inactive, unhealthy, undernourished family. In all actuality we are very active and basically quite healthy. Just because I have had 2 heart attacks does NOT mean I am not healthy. It's like my momma says, "I have a condition!" LOL. We all lead way active lives! It is just when something has to go wrong we like it to be in a big way. Always the drama family. More news later. And not health updates. We have a big trip to Abilene this weekend to watch the Merkel Badgers battle Anson. Go big PURPLE. It is also ACU's homecoming so we should see lots of old friends and family. Maybe I'll find something exciting to post for you next week. And then again, maybe not.

Monday, October 02, 2006


I haven't been ready to tell this until now. I am going to be a NEENA again. Let me say I couldn' t be happier and more afraid at the same time. Most of you know that I have a daughter that has been trying for 6 years to have a baby. She was born to be a mother. From the time she was born she had a baby doll. The population of dolls grew and grew around our house. She had all colors, shapes, sizes, hair colors. Some had eyes open, some had eyes shut. She played with and loved them all. Although she would not admit it, I know that she played with dolls until jr. high. Rather secretly. She dressed up her poor little brother and fixed his hair long before he could defend himself. Then she began to dress our poor dog up in baby clothes. It wasn't long until the entire town realized what a "prize" she was as a babysitter. She babysat, babysat, and babysat some more. She went on trips with families to help with the children. She was like the PIED PIPER. At church, her pew would be filled with all the kids. This was everywhere we went. She never ever met a kid she didn't like! So the infertility issues were so confusing to us all because we knew there would never ever be a better Christian mother. Her husband bravely stood beside her in ever venture she undertook to get pregnant. He deserves a medal. Sadly, they lost twin sons several years ago. Just not quite ready to be born at 24 weeks. It broke their hearts and mine too. How do you heal from that? Or do you just go on? Going on is the only choice that we, by the miracle of God she is almost 12 weeks pregnant without any doctor intervention. We've kept it rather quiet until we were totally sure. We have now heard the heartbeat. We have seen the baby on a sonogram. It is now very real. She is placed in the high risk catergory and they have the best doctor who has assured that he will do everything he can to prevent anything from going wrong again. So, Friday morning at 8 AM we will check her into the hospital where she will have a procedure that will hopefully prevent her body from repeating history and starting pre-term labor. Please pray for her and her husband and give them strength to get through these next few months. And pray for the outcome.........a beautiful baby. I don't believe that we should ever bargain with God for blessings. I would be so afraid to do that. I would never do it. But, I promise that this baby will know about Jesus and salvation. He will hear the story of Noah, Daniel in the Lion's Den, and the Good Samaritan. I will do my part to give the message. Please join our family and remember them in your prayers these next few months. She mentioned in her blog and I'll share with you an excerpt of what she said:

"Now....Have I mentioned that I'm so very scared. I am. Absolutely freaking paranoid. I'm scared of history repeating itself. I'm scared that things will be beautiful one day and me upside down the next. I'm scared of cramps, back aches, hearses and small coffins. I'm scared of sympathy cards instead of congratulation cards. I'm scared the room will still stay empty. I'm scared of leaving the hospital empty handed...again. Please God let all things go smoothly."
Our whole family THANKS YOU for your prayers!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Hyper Juice

For some reason these past few weeks I have been running on some type of adrenalin rush. Major rush. Total mind races. I am expecting to run out of gas any minute. Honestly though. Why can't I channel this energy into something constructive? Instead, I have left a path of destruction through this house like you wouldn't believe. You think I am kidding? Here is a small sample of what I mean.

1. I decided to take down the wallpaper in the guest bathroom about 2 weeks ago. Each night I sit and peel small amounts of shredded paper and I am not even half way through. It will not come off. So I quit for a time and took on another project.

2. I decided that I would sand and refinish my pretty front door. I put a chair outside on the porch, thinking about the mess of wallpaper, and started to slowly sand. Then I remembered why I hate to sand so much. So, halfway through that, I quit. I quit and thought how nice it would be to straighten all the kids rooms for the holidays. ( OUCH, did I say holidays?) So.....

3. I started in only son's room. With 7 large clear storage tubs. I packed trophies, pictures, notes from girls, baseball gloves, footballs, basketball jerseys from little dribblers up to high school. I packed scrap books, autographs, more trophies, certificates, caps and gowns. I packed size 4 T Dallas football pants all the way up to High School quarterback size. Then, I packed enough sports books and magazines to start a small library. All the tubs went home to Abilene to live with him in his nice new house. Now he can sit and go through them. At his leisure. I loaded all the emptied off shelves with my own books and knick knacks. I moved an antique bedroom set in there. I hung some new curtains. It all looked so nice. Then the madness really began.

4. I went into daughter # 1's room. I started doing the same thing. Oh my gosh. Tiara's, pom poms, Prom dresses, bridesmaids dresses, mums, cards dating back to her 1st birthday up to wedding congratulation cards and Welcome Baby. Every momento you can imagine. ( chip off the old block ) She has been gone from home long enough to not have accumulated as much as only son. But, still when I didn't know what to do with something I took it into only son's room. Pretty soon daughter # 1's room was turned into my new, nice and neat office. For a short time. Only son's room was a mess again.

5. I entered into daughter # 2's room. Is it legal to have 1,000 homecoming mums in one room with Strawberry Shortcakes house, a corral of My Little Ponies, Rainbow Bright, Puffalumps, Gerber baby dolls, and college textbooks. Wedding garter, prom dresses, bridesmaids dresses and megaphones from high school and college. She is alot like me in that she likes to leave everything here and she will pick it up at a later date. ( Sorry Mom...I've been gone 36 years and still have things in your attic! ) So everything that I didn't know what to do with in her room moved to daughter # 1's room and only son's room. Did I mention that I moved my treadmill into daughter # 2's room also? It takes up about half of the room. It was not turning out like I envisioned.

So, basically what I have now is:
A demolished guest bathroom
Three of the messiest rooms you have ever seen
A front door that looks like termites Housework about 2 months behind because I have been trying to work through this mess.

And here I sit at the computer. Wondering where I begin? Who do I call to help? This is serious problem and I don't see a solution in sight short of selling the house as is and moving right into the retirement home. Somebody else is going to have to cook the turkey unless things start moving in a different direction pretty soon. At this rate we won't even have room to live here.
HEY! I JUST REALIZED IT IS MY BLOGGERVERSARY. Happy wishes to me and my 6 readers.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The Verdict is In.....Almost

Home again from Houston. If you don't already have a heart condition you will trying to drive through and around and out of Houston. I had a pleasant and informative visit with Dr. Mann at Baylor Heart Institute
today. Gordon was at an LCRA conference and was not able to go with me today. So, I enlisted my BFF Becky to go with me. Also, my daughter Heather went this time since Ashley, middle daughter, had an appointment of her own.......MORE ON THAT LATER...... I am so lucky to have had them with me. They both asked questions and made me feel very much at ease as I sat in the middle. Ashley would have been in there too if she could have and I know Mitch would have been there if the miles were not such an issue. I am so very lucky and blessed by my children's love! Becky though, has a wonderful memory, unlike mine, and has been able to relate and retell me what all he said in detail. I have spent the last 2 hours in the car making her tell me again and again until I could get it all straight. Any more questions need to be directed to Becky. Dr. Mann was able to view my last stent/catherization via CD from Heart Hospital and said that from that he was certain that I do not have coronary vasculitis. I did indeed have another heart attack which was caused by almost total blockage in the RCA (right coronary artery) lower chamber this time but he saw no other evidence of another dissection. The artery was almost totally occluded or blocked and a blood clot ( yuck, don't you hate the word clot?) was thrown. This condition can happen very isn't necessarily something that smelters for months. He said that from results of all the follow up that he could determine that I had minimal heart damage. He even said very very minimal. I did alot of calling to Heart Hospital last week and was never able to get ahold of the right person to help me recover the CD from my initial dissection/heart attack in 2001. Dr. Mann really wanted to view that one before he gave me the final verdict. So, the reason the verdict is out is I am going to spend the next few days calling, calling and calling Heart Hospital until someone goes to the Medical Records Archives/graveyard whatever and retrieves that old record. Their excuse to me each time I called was basically the same. Technology has changed so much in the last 5 years that the 2001 surgery is stored on another computer "medium" that basically would have to be re downloaded before they could record it on a cd. I don't know because I don't understand technology. I can barely borrow and carry in addition. I had some more lab work done today to test something about homocysteine and my clotting abilities. Then after the review of 2001 CD, soon to be released at a theatre near you Dr. Mann and I will get back in touch. Basically, those will be the last pieces of the puzzle for Dr. Mann and we will then consult via the telephone. He basically reinforced to me that I am not typical of any heart patient.....that I do need to be aware of chest pains, etc. But we all do! He also made me feel better by saying that he felt like I have been in very good medical care with Dr. Bailey. He said that all the notes he read from the records I provided and all the meds etc that I am on are exactly what he would have done for me. He said the familiarity of the small town relationship of patient/doctor is important. With Dr. Bailey's access to Austin facilities etc he says I am totally on the right track. That made me feel better about having so much trust and not being so informed. However, I am planning to continue this aggressive patient conduct and stay on top of everything. If for some reason, and hopefully not, Dr. Bailey is insulted that I got a second opinion I will use another highly recommended cardio that is also a 'ville regular. When all the results are in during the next few weeks, I will try to never bore you with "heart condition" posts. This just really saves time and repetition in getting the word out to the 6 of you who have asked. And prayed. And cared. In a nutshell for now until further notice, I do have mild coronary artery disease ( genetically...probably on the Whitfield side, sorry Poppi ) which is controllable by exercise, diet, medications, etc. All the not fun stuff to do. I did not hear the words Blue Bell Fudge Nut Brownie mentioned once. And by the way ....... my treadmill is not for sale anymore.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

No News is Good News

For those 6 or so of you that read my blog you already know this but I'll say it again.

I had a very extensive 2 days of testing, etc at Baylor Heart Institute in Houston. Basically I went in for a second opinion. There were some issues that were bothering me and I wasn't really getting the answers to the questions I was asking. So I subjected myself to another doctor and I was poked, prodded, xrayed, nucleared, interviewed, etc...... I was very impressed with the thouroughness of it all. The dr I saw also happens to be the Chief of Staff of the whole place. He spent about 2 hours talking with me. You know I liked was all about me! I had previously faxed about 65 pages of medical records so that he could look over my history before I came. And, as Ashley would say, I sent along the introductory novel. And I did. I just hate going to see new doctors when they don't have a clue who are they are going to see. So, I have this little thing that I always forward along so they know what to expect when they do meet me. Things like where I live, work, things I like to do, etc......I know it sounds silly but he said he wished all his patients did that. But, it very much broke the ice and the new dr. / patient relationship. He pretty much reinforced what I have been told a million times and that is how very fortunate I am to be alive. He feels like the second episode should not have happened and was most likely started by another smaller dissection located in the same coronary artery as the first. I have to call Heart Hospital tomorrow and have the actual "footage" of both my surgeries ( '01 & 06 ) for him to watch. He said that they should be on cd and I have a right as a patient to request them. Jeepers, I hope I wasn't slobbering or anything. I must say that my L'Oreal lipstick stayed on for at least 12 hours during that last surgery. It wasn't as eventful as the hair issue before which I am sure my girls would love to tell you about! I then go back on the 14th for the conclusion. I wish Houston wasn't so far and I could continue as his patient. However, he has absolutely NO IDEA the stress I went through just trying to find his office through Houston. A person could get killed there! I do feel like I need to find a doctor that treats me more aggressively. So, on the dr. issue I am in a dilemma because I really like the dr. I had. He is just almost too sweet, does that make sense? So, for now, that is where I stand. I'll wait to post again when I return from the 14th's visit with all the good news. And Terrie, when you "cut up with God" in the morning as you say, please remind him of me! Maybe he'll ride with me again on the 14th.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Why does everything have to be so complicated? Or do I just make it that way? I liked life so much better when my mom and dad told me what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and when to stop it. Not that I ever followed directions but it still made life easier to have someone else to blame for whatever decision I made.

JOB WISE.......After all my speech and ranting and raving about retiring and asking everyone to pray about the decision etc etc etc., I just was given a very substantial pay raise from the school district. I was more than suprised since in the 30 years I have been there I think this is the 2nd district raise I have been given. Poor little broke district. I have gotten the mandatory state raises and all but this makes everything different. Now, I really need to talk to my financial whiz brother in law. So, keep praying. I do love my job just not right now. The first of school is a nightmare but after the first week or so it is wonderful.

HEALTH WISE.......I am also going to Houston next week to see a new cardiologist for a second opinion of my medical "stuff". I am going to just say that everything job wise, retirement wise, and all is on hold until I can get my health in line. I am going to say that is the # 1 priority right now.

AND IN CONCLUSION.......So, here I go again..................not knowing where I am going. It is so my life.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Ready or Not the School Bell Rings

Things are looking up ! I am actually ready for school as far as being the principal's secretary goes. Now all I need are the children. This marks my 30th year in that chair. Well, actually I have gone through a few chairs, a few principals, a few superintendents, a few dozen teachers, a million students, and lots and lots of hugs! That's what happens when you work on the primary level. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the children. However, right now I am going through major mental drama. I am a known and confessed drama queen, but right now I am performing on my own stage with no audience...... until now. You are the first ticket holders to know my thoughts. I am thinking about retiring. Now, calm down Mother because I have not totally made up my mind. And even if I do retire I AM NOT GOING TO SIT AT HOME AND FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF. This will free me up for 3 o'clock coffee time with you and Mable. But, please don't make me go to Ladies Bible Class. HA ! So, the reason for such a drastic decision ????? If you have been a reader of my blog, HELLO DEAR FAMILY CONSISTING OF 5 readers, you know that I just had a second heart attack.....unknown cause.........unknown, unknown, unknown. I hate unknown stuff. So, IF I did retire ( BIG IF ) I would take the rest of the year off to do whatever else I wanted besides coffee with Mother and Mable, and then go to my second love the ER in the fall. That place holds alot of dreams and future maybes for me. By working til midterm I could claim a full 30 years. I know I need to sit down with Daddy and go over all the details. Get out the card table Pops. And the sharp pencil and flourescent light. Just don't ask me to put on my thinking cap. I lost it a long time ago. Hubby supports whatever I want to do. Right now though I have been having fun being stressful and having this pity performance by myself. So, add another "Lynn need" to your prayer list. I need your opinions. And yes, financially I HAVE TO WORK. Oh, and if you happen to have a spare thinking cap lying around, could I borrow it?

Friday, July 14, 2006

God Bless you Where you are

We Send You Our Blessings

Be sure and click on the site above and be blessed!

A lot of unexplained things have happened to me over the past week. Lots of questions that I don't seem to have answers for or may never have answers for. Lots of the WHY'S? And for some reason the people that I always have on my doctor teams answer like this, "I sure don't know" and my favorite quote of the week from the top cardiologist in the area, "Holy Crap girl and Damn if I know." And I, in total faith accept those answers. I want doctors that say, "Girl we are sure going to get to the bottom of this puzzle so this doesn't happen again!" I don't understand why I had another heart attack but I do know I don't want another one. So, now I must find someone else on my dr. team that feels that same way. I do not know why my body finds contentment in mass manufacturing cholosterol way too fast. Now, I must find someone else on that dr. team that might know that. I am tired of taking all these medications. I am tired of being tired. I am ready to find some answers. But, after watching that wonderful power point presentation above...........I feel the blessings of life continue to follow me no matter the situation......and I am not afraid. I really am not. What is there to fear? That I might get to Heaven before you? That is not scary. Although I would like a rain check for that trip in about 40 or more years. In the meantime, I will continue to count my many blessings that surround me day in and day out. They surround me in darkness and light. How much more could I ask?

Monday, July 10, 2006

What Fireworks?

I'll admit I didn't have the greatest 4th. Or maybe I need to re-state that and say that I did have the greatest 4th. Mostly because I'm here to tell you about it. There is nothing like being airflighted in an electrical thunder storm......most of which I am not that aware of. I am not going to dwell on the issue or go into gory details but I suffered my 2nd heart attack on the evening of July 4th. I am recovering and feeling very lucky again. What is up with that? It is all a mystery to myself and the doctors......I have no real indicators or family history so we are now going to totally re-analyze my next steps for a healthier life. So, if you are family and friends.....thank you so much for praying for me and taking care of me.......if you are stranger.....add me to your prayer list. And if you want gory details......give me a call.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The Beverly Hillbillies

Here is the "cast"
Hubby - Uncle Jed
Daddy - Grandpappy
Mom - Aunt "whatever from Tenn."
Me - Granny Clampitt
Heather ( my oldest daughter ) - Ellie Mae
Reid ( my grandson )
Macy ( my granddaughter)

It is true. If you would have passed my parents van on Hwy 36 on our trip to Abilene you would have thought you saw them for sure. What a trip! Four generations were packed in the car. Along with all the essentials needed by each. We tried to pack light for it was just a 2 day trip. Hubby drove ( thank goodness) and Daddy rode shotgun. Then there is the car seat issue with Macy. So, she rode in the middle with Mom. Leaving Heather, Reid, and myself ( my claustrophobic self) in the last seat. I was pinned in next to the window and by the time we arrived (5 hours later ) I was all but in the fetal position . I am not a good traveler. But, I am especially not a good one when pinned in. Thank goodness for movies in the car and the all too FUN ...... Uno for the car game. Reid and I played that alot. If you haven't tried those car games....get one. We did have a wonderful trip and enjoyed being with Mitch our son and his beautiful & sweet wife, JD and the Reeses, who is my sister and family. I just wish that we all lived closer. We always have so much fun when we are together.

I remember lots of traveling when we were growing up. Since, Daddy was in the Air Force that made travel a way of life. We moved alot. And drove alot. Maybe that is why I hate it so now. I think I am the only sister that grew up to hate to travel. In fact, one sister just got back from backpacking around Europe. The other one loves to travel too but stays mostly busy traveling around dropping off and picking up teenagers now! Being the oldest sister I always got the pick of the seat so I can't complain about that. Or should I say being the meanest sister. We drove back to Texas from Anchorage, Alaska. When we were stationed in Penn. we drove to Texas for visits. With family in the Texas valley there were often trips from Central or West Texas down there. The valley trips rank right up there with the Abilene trips. A long way, no scenery, and long and HOT. Both sets of my Grandparents always lived away so there was travel to see them. Here I am YEARS later......married to a small town boy, raising all our children parents within hollering distance. When my kids were growing up there was no need to go anywhere. We were all here! Family came to us!

Now, my children are grown and scattered away. Maternal withdrawals make travel a necessity both physically and mentally. I can only go so long without seeing my kids and grandbabes. So, like it or not I load up.

Can't help but think how nice it will be when we all get to Heaven. I have reserved a cul-de-sac address for us all. No more traveling!

Did I mention that at last count Macy asked a million times if we "were there yet"? And don't think you can ignore her or answer falsely. At four years old, she wants the truth! She wants comparisons and statistics. Then much like myself she collapses in a heap with a heavy sigh. I must say though that the grandchildren are great travelers. They entertained the miles away playing with their fancy technology gadgets, gizmos, and car tv movies. They rarely fussed or whined, especially not more than I did! They are great travelers and respectful kiddos thanks to their great mom and dad who have taught and continue to teach them to be that way. in "my day" we used to pass the hours traveling by playing wonderful games! We played "Riddle Me" and always tried to fool Mom & Dad by choosing objects they would never guess. Then there was the license plate game and the ABC game off the billboards. We played countless numbers of games of hangman, dots, & tic tac toe. And of course the quiet game, which none of us won. Who can forget all the family sing alongs? We knew every hymn in the book! That is where I learned to sing harmony in the car not on CMT. My own children, before seat belt laws, used to perform puppet shows from the back of the station wagon to cars behind us. They listened to their little cassette or was it 8 track recorders to storybooks on tape. They loved to sing in the car too. We could sing for hours. And sometimes did. They had a speak and spell they used to think was fun until they found out it was educational. Sometimes Barbie dolls and baseball cards filled the car. Mitch used to love a little baseball trivia! Times have changed.

So, until I learn how to blink and magically transport myself across the miles, I will have to live with and endure an occasional road trip. Now, though, instead of giving the kids benedryl and dramamine, I give it to myself.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Inferiority Complex

I admit it. I long for comments. Some of my blogger friends rack up the comments. Mike Cope gets so many I don't know how he can read them all. He must have had to change his office hours just to read his comments. 5 is my tops. Ok that covers my mother, my 3 children and an occasional sister or niece. I read them over and over. But it is really starting to worry me. I even got blogger funk over it one time. I mean really! Why spend all that time writing something so personal if no one even reads it? Or even worse, they read it and they don't comment. I have some really cool topics that I plan to cover over the next blogging period. For instance: MY ANNUAL MAMMOGRAM or WHY CAN'T I FIND THE RIGHT LID? or my personal favorite MY LIST OF FAVORITE WORDS OVER THE YEARS. There will be more that I know will excite you. But, I am warning you. Comment. Comment or I will hold the best captive in my mind forever.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sounds of Silence

I know I have said this before but this house is way too quiet. I am all alone for a week as hubby has gone to New Mexico. I have banged cabinets, played the TV too loud, slammed doors, sung loudly, and talked to myself. This is going to sound totally nuts but I love to be alone and I HATE to be alone. It is late now and I am not the least bit sleepy. That is not unusual, mind you, but I really am not the least bit tired. I have a million projects I want to start during summer break and I may pull an all nighter and start one tonight. NAW...... I better not. BUt here is my list of projects. They are in no particular order. This list is similiar to a New Year's Resolution list. I never follow those either.

1. CLEAN OUT THE KIDS CLOSETS AND PACK UP 10 year old mums, dolls, books, clothes, cheerleading shoes, books of 2 precious little girls and football pants, bats, balls, and LEGOS that used to belong to a little boy that lived here for 18 years.
2. ORGANIZE all photo albums. I want to condense them by throwing out the random shots of the neighbors new fence, the road sign from a trip to who knows where, the little blond kid that used to live next door but I don't even remember their name. I only want meaningful pictures left......
3. PAINT ALL THE red picture frames that I painted 2 summer ago black. I want to do them all in black now. I want to rehang the kids wedding portraits in the entry hall on a black iron pole with black frames too. I saw that idea in Pottery Barn magazine.
4. PUSH STUFF AROUND in the garage. It wouldn't be summer without that. It doesn't accomplish one thing.
5. FINISH PUTTING THE MATERIAL on my armoire in our bedroom.
6. FILE IMPORTANT PAPERS in the filing cabinets. Right now, they are strung out everywhere from the kitchen to under a bed somewhere. In the car. At the office. In the bottom of my purse.
7. BALANCE MY CHECKBOOK....I know you are really laughing now. I have that on my list every summer. And I never do it. I don't even know how or care, really.
8. GO THROUGH MY CLOTHES and get rid of things that I haven't worn in awhile. That includes the red print mini dress I wore when I left my own wedding reception.
9. CLEAN OUT THE KITCHEN CABINETS......really. I can't even find a lid. When I want a round one I find a square one. Plates anyone? I have 5 sets of dishes. There are only 2 people in this house. I have one skillet. I have 400 million sets of mismatched silverware. I have a whole wall of cabinets full of whatnots and who knows, that as Ashley says, "Is old crap".

Knowing me and my previous summers, I'll spend alot of time on # 10. Oh well.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Who me??? Relax????

There are several words that I don't think belong in my vocabulary. They don't have anything to do with me. I don't understand the definitions. I can't relate to them. One of the main words is RELAX. For those of you who know me well, you realize that is true. I can sit no longer than 30 minutes tops at church, seminars, waiting rooms, the theatre or in other restricted environments. Then when I am home, I am in constant motion. I am not being productive necessarily but just moving. In the house, out of the house. In the kitchen out of the kitchen. At the computer or get the picture. I so envy people that know how to be settled. To be able to sit and watch an entire TV program without ever getting up. My sister, Jody, knows how to relax. She is the only person I know who can read an entire book in the bathtub. She is totally in another world when she is there. I have tried to relax in the bathtub. I have lit candles had bubbles... the works. The minute my toe hits the water I am wondering what I am going to do next......I can barely get the soap out of my hair and shave my legs before I am reaching for the towel. I literally go at it like this all day. Until my batteries run out sometime around 11. You are probably thinking, "Poor thing, I have always known she needed counseling." But the truth is, this is me. There is no doubt I have inherited some wicked gene from somewhere generations ago that causes me to speed through life. I don't necessarily want to be this way but it is the way I am. I plan to work on this.......maybe I need to do yoga or meditation. Wouldn't that be a hoot? I would have my legs tangled up before I could count to 3. Then during meditation I am certain I would be talking to myself. The only time everyday that I am totally still and relaxed is at night when I pray myself to sleep. I am still then......I have learned to control my mind from wandering too much during this time and fall asleep in total peace. That can't be all bad can it?

Hey, I am open to suggestions if you think you can slow me down. Do not, I repeat DO NOT suggest restraints. I am also claustrophobic. Good luck coming up with something I haven't already thought of..... and please no medication. For once I want to do something normal!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Quick Trip For A Kiss

We made a flying trip to Htown to see part of the family! Even though we had just seen them I hadn't had enough. I just wish Mitch & JD were on the way too. I could have used a good slobbery kiss from Petey and Tex. And of course, Mitch and JD too. We are really missing them but they stay BUSY BUSY BUSY. Hopefully, in a few weeks we can head their way. Stopped at Red Lobster and took Ash to supper on Thursday nite and enjoyed a few usual laughs with her. Then headed to CLake. It was almost 10 when we got on the main drag and I called the house and said there better be some jumping up and down in the yard when I pull up. As we rounded the corner, in the shadow of the motion light, I could see 3 bodies jumping up and down and up and down and up and down. DID MY HEART GOOD. Troy was at work or I bet he would have been jumping too. He is a good sport when the in laws head to town. We kept the kids way up past bedtime. Then Gordon climbed on the top bunk and I "snuggled" down with Macy in the twin. Macy's party was all you could expect a four year party to be. Heather had worked so hard and had everything organized and precious at the park pavilion. Macy has had so many celebrations this week she said she already turned 5. We had a hard time convincing her that just because you had another party you didn't age. We were disappointed that Reid's game got rained out this morning and he didn't get to hit me my grand slam. I am sure he would have. We all went out for lunch and then we headed home. Now a storm is brewing around here for the night. Lightning is dancing in the sky. What a blessed woman I am to have gotton to drive to Houston for a kiss from my precious babes. More importantly to see the happy lives that they have created. That is all I ever wanted is for my kids to be happy and well adjusted. Thank you God.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Do We Mean What We Say?

The sweetest little man at church Sunday came up to me and handed me a button he had made for me. Funny how a little button making machine can turn into a ministry! Everytime I see him he has one on with a thought or inspiration and I always comment that I can't wait to see what button he has on. Anyway, he had heard me say this before so he printed it on a button for me. "Lord Come Quickly". I know I say it more than I probably realize. Looking at it though made me think. I pinned it on my purse so I see it quite often since I "dig" in my purse about a million times a day looking for something...... but that is another blog.

But, "Lord Come Quickly?" Do I really mean that? I know I say it at appropriate times. Like when someone is hurting that I know .... spiritually, mentally or physically. Or when I am hurting....spiritually, mentally or physically. When it is just hard to take it anymore. I read in other blogs about choices that are not good ( I know about those ), about babies that are sick ( I know about those ) , about people who give up on life.....about addicts, about job losses, about people who have so much less or maybe don't even know how to have more. Sometimes I think that blog reading wakes you up, it encourages you to reach out and realize that you are not alone on this journey of life. But, life sometimes is just hard. Hard because we make it that way or hard because we don't know any better than to do what we have done when we don't know what else to do? Does that make sense? Heaven sounds so wonderful and will be free of all that. I just know that for right now and hopefully as long as I draw a breath that I will mean it.....Lord Come Quickly and put us out of our misery and let me be found faithful and waiting!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I couldn't let the month go by without a March blog. Truthfully, I have been in a blogger funk. I know those of you who write regularly know what I mean. The mind is spinning but the words don't come out. It's been a busy spring and it is flying by. I can't believe that soon we will be complaining about summer heat. Everything is the same in my's all good. It's all blessed. Hopefully April will bring some sense to my mind and I can get back on the writing train. I need some inspiration for sure.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Another Year Older and Deeper in Something

It's finally over. My birthday has come and gone but never quietly. Having a birthday with a large LOVING family and also working in a primary school, the festivities go on for days. If you know me well you know that I have not always liked to celebrate my birthday. Don't get me wrong. I love the presents.......I love the cake.........I love the cards.....I love that it is my day.......but I can remember not even liking my birthday when I was a child. I can remember being 9 and not wanting to be "2" digits. I am not sure why. I guess it is that one time of the year when we know for certain that we are not immortal. But things have changed and I am liking who I am at 54. I don't know how it got here so fast. I like how the new saying is that 50 is the new 40. WHAT? You have never heard that. I don't think I made it up. Well, anyway it is. I know I read it in some very trustworthy article. And not AARP. Which by the way, I shredded that card again. I wish they would quit sending it. I am NOT ready to admit to senior citizen discounts and rates being discounted because of my age. On the other hand, maybe if I tried to get a discount they might want to "card" me. Now, I would enjoy that. For all of you who helped me celebrate.......for the little voices that trembled out the words...."Happy Birthday Dear Neena" I appreciate it and I love you. If you still don't know what to get me, I will accept cash.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

What's In A Face?

I hate being vain. I have absolutely no reason to be but those of you who know me well know it is a fact. I am fast becoming one of those little ladies with too much blush and jingling jangling jewelry hanging off anything that will hold it on. The last few days I have been curiously reading up on cosmetic surgery. Just looking and wondering. I won't say I'll never succumb to it but right now I am mostly just fascinated by it. I watch way too many reality shows and make overs and have seem some incredible turn arounds. The funniest thing is that I have as my screen saver a school picture of myself from the 4th grade. I sat and stared at the picture last night. Would I go back? Never. But staring back at me was the face of a little girl that I was trying to reconnect with. I recognized the eyes. I recognized the eyebrows. (Boy did I have some ) Thank goodness for waxing. I could remember the red plaid dress and the hair. The white teeth. Was this before the braces or after? Of course, this was way before Ruben let make up touch that face but I didn't really need it yet. I was somewhere between being a little girl and bursting into puberty. Not that I bursted into in the sense that I turned voluptuous but I did scour through many a SEVENTEEN magazine looking at fashion and make up. The girly gene was present. I wondered when I was looking at the picture what I was like then. What kind of day did I have at school that day? Was I happy? Who were my friends then? What did my mother fix for supper that day? I wonder. I see the children at school skipping around the halls and playground and I wonder if I was like that. One thing I realized for sure is that time stops for no one. It marches right on. Those same eyes, the same face, with now the manicured eyebrows, wayward hair, are still mine. The heart, the will, the woman child. It's all still me. So, I will keep studying this philosophical question of fighting the age issue and be satisfied that I am exactly what God wants me to be. I am exactly what He wants me to look like. But, please someone tell me when I am overdoing it with the "staying in fashion" look. I need to remember I am not the same little girl in the picture. Can you tell someone is dreading another birthday? Thankful for it but dreading it.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Lazy Hazy Days of Summer in January

Okay....I admit it. I am HOT. What is up with this weather? ElNino or Nano or whatever needs to go away. Although I do prefer warmer weather I think our body thermostats need to experience a little of cooler weather. I am trying to be educated in this as the meterologists explain the whys and hows of this type of winter but all I know is not normal.

Saturday is quickly proving to be a day of work again. Now that my "cleaning lady" is history I spend my Saturdays washing, cleaning and getting ready for another week. When I had the luxury of her Saturdays were playdays. It is okay though. I am using these cleaning days to clean out and throw away stuff that I don't need or wear anymore. I couldn't have asked her to do that anyway. I have found stuff in my closet and thought, "What was I thinking when I bought this?" One of my new year's resolutions is to be more careful what I buy. I found 3 million red and black tops. I found skirts and pants that haven't been worn because I don't have a top to match. I need to make an inventory of what I have and what I need. Those of you who know me know that although I am a sales, resale and thrifty shopper know that I am also a compulsive buyer. I NEED THERAPY. SEE, WANT, AND BUY....those are my prerequisites. I need to change that. Now, our church has set up a clothing ministry so I plan to start taking lots of stuff there. Anyone need a red or black top?

The holidays seem like a long time ago. Except that Monday is another holiday! Wish we could have saved it for the long haul later. The next holiday SISD has is Spring Break. That seems forever away. is something for you all to help me with. We are invited to a suprise Anniversary party ( 35 years ) for our good and old friends, Nancy and Buddy. We are supposed to dress as we did then.....the 70's. I didn't like the styles then much less to do it again now. What in the world am I going to wear. I am planning a trip to Goodwill this week to see if I can put something together. Any suggestions? And don't say HOT PANTS........This body is way past HOT PANTS. I wish I still had Gordons mint green polyester Leisure Suit! He was so handsome.

We were such good friends with them when we were teens. I am so glad we have stayed friends over the years. I was Nancy's only bridesmaid......a lovely lavendar polyester gown. Wish I still had it and I'd wear it except it was probably a size 0 or so. Yes, I was a 0 onetime. Now, just add numbers before that. It's hard to believe that we can boast 35 years of marriage along with them. And it's still work.......guess when it isn't then it isn't worth it. I'd do it again. help dress us......... Forget the afro wig for Gordon.