Thursday, January 19, 2006

What's In A Face?

I hate being vain. I have absolutely no reason to be but those of you who know me well know it is a fact. I am fast becoming one of those little ladies with too much blush and jingling jangling jewelry hanging off anything that will hold it on. The last few days I have been curiously reading up on cosmetic surgery. Just looking and wondering. I won't say I'll never succumb to it but right now I am mostly just fascinated by it. I watch way too many reality shows and make overs and have seem some incredible turn arounds. The funniest thing is that I have as my screen saver a school picture of myself from the 4th grade. I sat and stared at the picture last night. Would I go back? Never. But staring back at me was the face of a little girl that I was trying to reconnect with. I recognized the eyes. I recognized the eyebrows. (Boy did I have some ) Thank goodness for waxing. I could remember the red plaid dress and the hair. The white teeth. Was this before the braces or after? Of course, this was way before Ruben let make up touch that face but I didn't really need it yet. I was somewhere between being a little girl and bursting into puberty. Not that I bursted into in the sense that I turned voluptuous but I did scour through many a SEVENTEEN magazine looking at fashion and make up. The girly gene was present. I wondered when I was looking at the picture what I was like then. What kind of day did I have at school that day? Was I happy? Who were my friends then? What did my mother fix for supper that day? I wonder. I see the children at school skipping around the halls and playground and I wonder if I was like that. One thing I realized for sure is that time stops for no one. It marches right on. Those same eyes, the same face, with now the manicured eyebrows, wayward hair, are still mine. The heart, the will, the woman child. It's all still me. So, I will keep studying this philosophical question of fighting the age issue and be satisfied that I am exactly what God wants me to be. I am exactly what He wants me to look like. But, please someone tell me when I am overdoing it with the "staying in fashion" look. I need to remember I am not the same little girl in the picture. Can you tell someone is dreading another birthday? Thankful for it but dreading it.


everyday.wonder said...

I've sat staring at a picture of a "younger me" and trying to remember what life was like then. I've always been a pretty introspective person, conscious of what was going on in my own head and heart, so I have some conscious perspective to look back on. It's weird to remember what the inside of my head looked like when I was 15. Boy was I girl crazy. And tons of other stuff crazy. Just crazy. Thank God for his guiding hand--I can't imagine what I would have been like if He hadn't intervened in my college years. Actually I can imagine, and I shudder.

And I'm thankful that I grew up within the gender that never had to look at Seventeen or wear makeup. At least Katelyn will be looking at it online... *groan*

Heather said...

Mom...I think a trip to see Dr. 90210 will NOT be necessary! HAHA You are beautiful and I hope that when I am your age I will look as young as you. Gotta love some Oil of Olay! HA Oh, and thanks for passing down those eyebrows to me!! :) It costs me 10.00 a month just to keep up with them....

And about your birthday....I'm SO thankful to God that you are here to enjoy it! I remember in the hospital how scared we all were and even then you were worried about your hair....remember the hairball incident!! Um, you remember!HA

Mom thank you for your kind, honest and loving heart... Your the best and I love you SO......

BTW, I wish that I had inherited your gift of writing!!

Love You......Heather

Melody said...

It was so great to hear from you as well. Yes, I am very thankful and excited to be so close to Amy, Andy and Charlie. I want him to come now! I need some serious baby time.
I know I have been through a lot lately, but my faith is growing. God is getting me through for sure. It still just hurts so badly.
I hope everything is going well for you! You should definitely come visit :)

jocelyn said...


Thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog. I will email you some material soon. I'm not sure what all you want, so I'll just send several things. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, and concern. And of course I know who you are!

I'll be in touch!
Much love,