Sunday, September 30, 2007


Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for? THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Holy Spirit. Follow through.

Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to? THAT'S GOD wanting you to talk to Him. Bow your head.

Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you needed, but couldn't afford? THAT'S GOD knowing the desires of your heart. Give thanks.

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better, how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it. . THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulation to see a brighter day. Praise HIM by your actions.

I don't think God's love for us is as mysterious as we make it out to be sometimes. Do you really ? Just look at all the the ways He shows us everyday. What do we need, a big billboard to fall out of the sky telling us? I think sometimes we make it mysterious because we refuse to accept His unconditional love even after He has told us and shown us. We are a bunch of hard headed punks!

Thursday, September 27, 2007


I've had a little cash stuffed in the back of my wallet now for longer than cash usually lasts in my wallet. I have been trying to decide what I want to do to get more active now that the HOTTEST time of the year is over. At least for this week. You know Texas weather. I bought me a cool new pair of NIKE shoes for supporting my poor feet. Right now, until I get the inflammation in my feet under control even walking long distances is out of the question. Of course, I am still sporting cute little summery shoes so it is my fault! I think my dreams of running the marathon with my super fit daughter are just that dreams. I envy runners. It does look so liberating and I love the idea of just plugging in that IPOD and taking off on a great run. But, my aching feet are NOT going to go for that.

I have considered having one of grandchildren push me in the jogging stroller but I think I would miss out on the benefit of the exercise, don't you? Plus, you know all about those child labor laws.

It's not just the plantar fasciatis foot issue for this type of exercise. It's the coordination issue. I have none. Coordination that is. So, this is out of the question. If you miss one clap or turn you could be trampled. It's very dangerous. Have you ever seen a class of these crazed JAZZERCISE girls? There is not enough room on the back row for all of the ones that want to hide.

I have heard really good things about YOGA. Healthwise and mental wise. But, I need to move it people. I need some action. You know that sedentary things are not good for my mind. I am most certainly ADHD and I have to move it, move it, move it. Even if it hurts it, hurts it, hurts it. Plus, you have to have total concentration for this exercise. And you know where that puts me.

I really really considered this. It's Texas weather most of the 12 months and I have a pool so I have no excuses for this except that it is boring. B.O.R.I.N.G. Plus, I get confused how many times I went what way. Then I start to cheat. I don't like to get to water in my nose plus I threw away all my bathing caps that I owned in the 60's when they were mandatory at all the AFB pools. I just don't look good in a bathing cap. My head is too small and they give me an elastic band headache. I much prefer floating on my super float in the quietness of the country and I would hate to start identifying the pool with exercise.

The indoor gym. This is a great option for me and a new gym just opened in town and I have already had a tour and think this would be a fun time. It's air conditioned in there. Has a big TV. Has lots of different pieces of state of the art equipment. So, hmmmmm. This is a definite possibility. Plus, it's a 24 hour deal where you can get in anytime 7 days a week with this special pass key.

But, the really one thing I want to do with my money is to buy me a bike. I have always loved riding. Not professionally or anything but just for the exercise. I am not into spandex shorts or exercise bras. I just want to climb on and ride through town, taking my time, looking at the old historic houses, and enjoying the scenery go by.
I know most of the dogs in town so I'm not afraid of a few barks or nips.

So, I'm working on this HEART HEALTHY exercise program effective immediately. I am getting this monitor watch and am getting my heart stronger and my psyche mentally fit. There are no more excuses.

YES. It is time to get moving. I have made up my mind. I am ready. This money is burning a hole in my wallet. Plus, I am getting a little grouchy and sedentary. I don't want to take root on the couch watching the Gilmore Girls.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

And I Can't Even Survive the New Century

TO ALL Those Born 1930-1979

VERY WELL STATED TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930s, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

I did very well in the 50,60.70's and 80's....The 90's weren't that bad either but after that it's been done hill gaining speed everyday.

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors o r cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Sunday, September 23, 2007


I know it's late but it is still Sunday. So, it's still seriously Sunday. If for some reason today you haven't paused for a moment to be it now. You have something, if not lots of things to be thankful for. If you are reading this, you have your eyesight. If it moves you, you have a conscience, if it makes you think you have a heart. Make a list of those blessings. Not a mental note, but a real written list of all the things you have to thank God for. Put your hope in salvation at the top and don't forget to put your health on there even if it is not the best. You have people who love you even if you are unlovable. You have your own unique list as I'm sure I do. But, make a list and surprise yourself at your many blessings. Then thank God for them. I have had a busy day and this post is late but timely I think. Lots of things swirling in my world and I'm sure yours too.

Sometimes when I don't hear anything in this loud world, music speaks to me clear down to my very soul. Just as it does to countless others. I hear words or interpret them maybe differently than you because of a different "life" situation. There are times in a worship service when the music can move me as much as the spoken words. Everyone has had a time in their lives when perhaps you've questioned the why's and how's of a certain period of your life, health, or path you are on. I know that I have. Almost daily! But, I lifted this beautiful song from my niece Christine's "list" of beautiful songs and if you know about her valley that she's been in then this song is totally and especially relevant to her and her family. But, she shared it I think too, for us all. I relate to it and maybe you too for other reasons. To realize that we are going to all be in these valley situations in some form or another at some time in our lives makes us human. We don't necessarily want to go in the valleys. It is a scary path. We don't want our lives to change or bad things to happen. Some of our valleys may just be a little darker or deeper than others. If you get a chance to listen to this song on some venue like You Tube or it. It will move you beyond what you think you can be moved!! The voice that recorded it is not Christine, although she could have and I wish she would, but a girl named Ginny Owens. ( sorry, I don't know how to do post videos )

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Look Up the Word Oxymoron

Life. Sometimes I really ponder how something that started out so slow could have gained so much momentum. Here I am now, in the middle part of the years that have been allotted to me. Statistically, I should have more good years. That seems so short compared with what I started off with. Hopes and dreams……some accomplished but most still dreams. Myself, I haven’t changed much on the inside. I think that part is very comical. That the person I am today is pretty much who I was all those years ago. I wrote this so you can know me better and maybe I can recognize myself.

I was born to be a mother. I am a nurturer. I wish I could hold my children one more time as babies. I miss the noise of my children. I love my family. My grandchildren are the greatest gifts on earth. I adore, love and cherish my parents. I love, respect and look up to my sisters. I love my neices and nephews. I don’t like not being needed. I believe in unconditional love. I just plain believe in love. I love love. I also believe in like. I am compulsive. I am obsessive. I am vain. Somedays I feel so ugly and old. I love friendships. I believe in the theory of best friends. I believe in the theory of life long friends. I need friends. I like friends to need me. I am very dependable. I think friends should be dependable. I always want to please everyone. Without thinking about it. I am sensitive. I never cry though. I need to cry sometimes. I wish I didn’t take things so personally. I rely on structure & scheduling. I hate structure & scheduling. I love to laugh. I love to laugh until I cry. I love to make people laugh. I love a good practical joke. I don’t like jokes that hurt others. I am way full of bull. I love bull. I tend to exaggerate almost everything I say. I love to be the storyteller.

I love to shop. I love the sound of a cash register. I love to carry sacks from purchases. I love fashion. Sometimes I feel too old for fashion. I love SteinMart. I love Target. I love Walmart. I love catalogs. I love accessories to fashion. I love "bling bling" and jewelry that jingles. I over accessorize most of the time. I like shoes. I love movies….good girly ones. I love music that makes you get lost in the feeling. Or music that moves your spirit and soul. I like to buy books. I don’t really like to read because I can’t sit still. I like to write. I love photography. I love to be creative. I love to decorate my house. I keep a journal. I love to get a new purse or wallet. I want to travel. I hate to travel. I am a homebody. I love my own things. I love to eat. I love chocolate. I love pastries. I love supreme pizzas. I love black coffee. I love unsweet tea. I love to eat out. I hate exercise. I exercise a couple of times a week. I wish I was a runner. I wish I was disciplined about taking better care of myself. I am not a good patient when I am sick. I love to take care of other people. I am co dependent. VERY.

I love organization. I am so unorganized. I love a clean house. I am a procrastinator. I hate being late. I daydream a lot. I am an insomniac. Night scares me. I am a maniac dreamer. I wish I was confident. I wish I wasn’t so sarcastic. (sometimes.) I am a doubter about a lot of things. I lie sometimes. I hate lying. I hate people to use God’s name in vain. I have a list of words I hate. I hate cursing. If I am mad I use an ugly word that I like S _ _ _. It is not my nature to be mad. If I am mad I forget why. I don’t like people to be mad at me. I believe anger is bad for your health. I never intentionally hurt other people. I love having friends over to my house. I like to being alone. Sometimes I need to be alone. I crave companionship. Sometimes I feel like I am in my own world. I am in my own world.

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t want to grow up. I like to cut out of magazines. I like to make files of things I cut out. I love to color code things. I love to color. I love sharp colors. I love pleasant surprises. I don’t believe in luck. I do believe in fate. I love having parties. I love to plan parties. I love to plan anything. I love the exhilaration of having completed something important. I don’t like crowds. I don’t like to feel trapped. I am claustrophobic. I don’t want to be rich. I do want to have money. I wish I liked to garden. I love looking at other people’s landscaping. I like to watch decorating channels. I hate to paint. I love how fresh paint looks. I am self conscience. People think I am very strong. I am very weak. I wish I was strong. I worry about things I have no control over. I worry about things I do control. I wish I could relive certain days again. I wish hasty decisions could be undone.

Deaths of my family members scares me. I am morbid. I have too many questions. I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to be buried. I want to go to heaven. I hate making mistakes. I make a lot of mistakes. I don’t want to be perfect. I love my church family. I worry about the future. I worry about war. I worry about children that aren’t mine that go to war Sometimes I feel confused about common things. I like common things. I am not motivated. I like to motivate people. I need encouragement. I need a lot of encouragement. I like to encourage other people. I am overwhelmed at times by life. I sometimes feel hopeless. I hate feeling that. I despise feeling shame. I don’t like to be disciplined. I need discipline. I think constructive criticism should be against the law.
I am way NOT perfect or even close. But, I know someone who is.

Wouldn't you say I'm an oxymoron?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I Know I'm Weird

OK, I like gross things. It started again tonight. We went out to some friends house in the country to grill some burgers. When we got there they said, " Girl are you going to like this!" They drug me out back where this stray dog had been trying all day to deliver puppies. She had been thrown out in their driveway all big and pregnant several weeks before. She was actually an ugly old mutt but they are my weakness. She obviously had been abused because she had all kinds of scars and marks on her. Now, here she was totally panicked in labor. She had no maternal skills and had delivered 4 pups walking through the yard wondering what in the world was happening to her just dropping puppies right and left. 1 was dead and the other 3 were just rooting around looking for what nature told them would be there....their mother. She obviously was not going to be their mother unless something miraculous happens. I finally got her to lie down and put the pups to her but they were cold and acted like they didn't know what to do. She was still in obvious pain trying to have more pups...... but was obviously in distress. I could actually feel more pups moving around inside her when I felt her belly. All the men kept saying things like, "Just let nature take her course" or " She'll be ok..." All the big old tough farm boys. The vets are out of town and no one would listen to my pleas to take her somewhere. But, I sat there next to her for 3 hours. Never did she deliver another pup or try to nurse the ones she had. I finally got her moved to the garage out of the wind and dampness so hopefully in the privacy of that place she can finish with God's help. I love animals. But, I wanted to help her so much. I wanted to know what was wrong. I like to know details. I guess that makes me have a morbid personality. That, I admit, is the morbid curiousity part of my personality.

I like to think it started in the 7th grade when Debbie, my girlfriend, was killed in a car wreck. I had NO idea that a child could die. I thought, like all my other friends that you got old, around 140, and then you just went to sleep and died. I had not been around sick people or anyone that was ever in an accident. When we all went to the funeral home together and looked at her in that casket with her blonde hair perfect and the dress on that she wore to the football banquet, I was shocked. That's when the swirl of my curiousity began. Then our teen group used to sing at funerals and we had to go through the casket room to get to the singing room. John used to try and push me in a casket everytime. I haven't been the same since! Now, that I know the world is riddled with sickness, suffering, and despair it's almost more than I can bear. When I get in bed at night I always think how fortunate I am because somewhere...someone is suffering or lost or trying to have a puppy.

I am normally a pretty big scaredy cat. I used to be worse. I still will NOT watch a scary movie like SAW or Chainsaw but I like thrillers, law shows and medical dramas. I love shows like Cold Case Files , Snapped and True Crime like shows. I used to love Life In The ER and there was even one show about a life inside the lab of a medical examiner. But, I have always been fascinated with gruesomeness and gory details. A good friend of mine is pretty high up in the Police Department in a big city close to me. He has been trying to get me to go to a homicide scene with him sometime. He said he'd take me in and use me as a crime photographer.

I was the one at the slumber party ready to scare everyone with a ghost story. I could tell a good one too. I remember one summer, while visiting my grandmother, some kids from town took me out to this bridge where supposedly this child was murdered and her spirit walks the bridge and if you listen you can hear her cry. Oh whatever! But, I love that kind of stuff.

Guess it was natural for me then to love my job at the Emergency Room and especially the trauma room. Death just intrigues me. Broken bones, fingers in jars, blood, vomit, and on and on.....don't initially get to me. I have seen it. After it's all over sometimes I gag. But at the time, no. Suffering I don' t like even though I have watched it. But, I want to be on the front line. I don' t like the not knowing what is going to happen at all. I draw the line with children and animals suffering though. I can't take it. But, I got so good at the trauma stuff that they used to have me to talk to families after their loved ones died before Victim's Services arrived. Especially after an accident. Victim's Services tried at that time to get me volunteer there. I really think I might like that sometime. But, there is a huge adrenalin rush in the Emergency world. It happens so quickly and is all about speed and perfection and no mistakes and then it is over and cleaned up and another one comes in. A whole new scenario. Each one different than the one before. I have the utmost respect and admiration for people in the medical profession. I really think that when I grow up I am going to be a nurse. But, only if they take the math part out. I think I"d rather just be the one running around like I know what I'm doing.

Monday, September 17, 2007

I have been on a short little road trip to the see the oldest "babies". It was much needed. I saw one of Rooster's baseball games, ate at Gattiland, picked them up at school and just basically loved their "skin" off. They are so busy now and it is just much easier and I see them longer if I go there. Then last night at the last possible minute, I fought my way home. Literally. Lane closures, detours, traffic, exits, ramps, tollways, toll booths, crazed people and me. It is a true testimony to my love for these children and their parents that I drive in that town. I don't understand why so many people have to be going to the same place. Or was that just how it seemed? It is a major outing to go the grocery store. You don't just "run" to the store for butter. Running errands takes all day. Not just a couple of minutes. You have to leave for church more than 5 minutes before the opening prayer. 10 minutes if you have door greeter duty.

I know I have said it before but give me my little town with it's two traffic lights anyday! Seriously, we have 2 traffic lights. The second one is new....and we feel very high class about it. It was a necessity when the new high school complex was completed to ensure that all the teenage boys in their fancy 4 wheel drive pick ups could cross to get to the other side of town safely. And I am not kidding.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I Know Where My God Was

I didn't write the words below "Where Was God?" and I don't know who did but they are my sentiments exactly. Today, everywhere and on every TV channel, there was coverage on this horrific day 7 years ago. I remember sitting at my desk at work with the office TV on in shock. Unlike anything I had ever felt. It really seemed like it might be the end of time. Like what else was going to happen? Working at a school made me want to load the buses up and take all the children home to their parents. But, it wasn't long and their parents were coming for them, many of them in tears and horror. I wanted to call my own children to come home so I could just sit and look at them. I remember watching Peter Jennings just go on and on and on. He never missed a detail or report. He wouldn't leave his desk for days. But, I think on that day one of the most haunting pictures for me personally, was the people that were jumping out of the top of the tower to their own death knowing that death was imminent. In horror, not knowing what was even happening. Not really in the scheme of things. Today, Oprah had a moving show about the families of the ones who lost their lives. The wives, husbands, parents, sisters, friends and of course children. She told the story about a firefighter who had just left his station to go home after working nights. He was driving through the tunnel and heard the reports on the radio. Unable to turn around inside the tunnel, he pulled as far over as he could and got out. He grabbed all his firefighter gear and dressed right there and then ran miles and miles back to the scene so that he could help. He was lost amid the rubble and the fire. Dying in the line of duty that he could have easily missed. But, that is what this all about. She had many of the original firefighters who fought that day to save lives in her audience and had them all stand. Then, of course, the audience rose in a standing ovation along with Oprah. She challenged all the TV watchers at home, if you love America to stand along with them to show your pride. I was sitting in the comfort and safety of my home and thought I'd feel pretty silly standing up all alone in the house. But, I did. Cold chills ran up me like I have never experienced.

America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. God bless us all.
Pray daily for America.

Have you ever thought, "Where was God on 9/11 when the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked?" Well, I know where my God was on the morning of September 11, 2001, and He was very busy!He was discouraging people from taking those four flights. Together they could accommodate more than 1,000 passengers, yet there were only 266 aboard. He was on those four flights giving the terrified passengers the ability to stay calm. Not one of the people who was called by a loved one on one of the hijacked planes mentioned that passengers were panicked, nor was there any screaming in the background. And on one of the flights, God gave strength to the passengers to overcome the hijackers.God was also busy creating obstacles to prevent people who worked in the WTC from getting to work on time. The work day had begun, more than 50,000 people worked in the two towers, yet only 20,000 were at their desks. On that beautiful morning, God created scores of unexpected traffic delays, subway delays, and commuter train delays. A PATH train packed with commuters was stopped at a signal just short of the WTC and was able to return to Jersey City. And far more meetings were scheduled elsewhere than was usual.God held up each of the two mighty towers for a half hour so that the people on the lower floors could get out. And when He finally let go, He caused the towers to fall inward rather than to topple over, which would have killed so many more people. The foundations of six surrounding buildings were demolished by the fall of the towers, but God held them up for many hours until all the occupants were safely evacuated.And when the WTC and Pentagon buildings went down, my God picked up almost 3,500 of His children and carried them to their home for all eternity. He also sat down and cried that 19 of His children could have so much hate in their hearts, that they did not choose him, but another god that doesn't exist, and now they are lost forever.He sent people trained in dealing with earthly disasters to save those that were injured. And he sent in thousands of others to help in any way they were needed. And He brought people together across the world in a way that moved thousands to tears and hundreds of thousands to prayer—and caused millions to turn to the one true living God.He still isn't finished. Every day He comforts those who lost loved ones. He is encouraging others to reach out to those who don't know Him or believe in Him. He is giving the leaders of our great nation the strength and conviction to do the right thing, to follow His will, not a popular poll.So if anyone ever asks, "Where was your God on 9/11?" you can say, "He was everywhere! And, in fact, he is everywhere today and every day." Without a doubt, this was the worst catastrophe most of us have ever seen. I can't imagine getting through such a difficult time without God at my side. Without God, life would be hopeless.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Where is the Fun?

Is it just me or does time really fly? It is honestly hard for me to believe that this year is closing in on the finale! It is not going to be long before we start seeing holiday commercials and thinking about resolutions. I know they say the older you get the faster it flies, but give me a break! I recently hung a big calendar in my little newly decorated "home office" and it is honestly full of stuff I have to do! That is what makes time fly. Stuff. Stuff. Stuff. I don't want to just do stuff, I really don't, but I do want to make sure I am enjoying the stuff I am doing and not just being obligatory!

Slow me down, Lord! Ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind. Steady my harried pace with a vision of the eternal reach of time. Give me, amidst the confusions of my day, the calmness of the everlasting hills. Break the tensions of my nerves with the soothing music of the singing streams that live in my memory. Help me to know the magical power of sleep, teach me the art of taking minute vacations , of slowing down to look at a flower; to chat with an old friend or make a new one; to pat a stray dog; to watch a spider build a web; to smile at a child; or to read a few lines from a good book. Remind me each day that the race is not always to the swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upward into the branches of the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well. Slow me down, Lord, and inspire me to send my roots deep into the soil of life's enduring values that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny. Wilferd A. Peterson

To realize the value of a sister...ask someone who doesn't have one. To realize the value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple. to realize the value of four years ..... ask a graduate. To realize the value of one year.....ask a student who has failed a final exam. To realize the value of nine months....aAsk a mother who gave birth to a still born. To realize the value of one month....ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.To realize the value of one week ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one hour.....try to entertain a crying baby through church......To realize the value of one minute ...ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize the value of one-second....ask a person who has survived an accident...To realize the value of one millisecond....ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. To realize the value of a friend.....lose one. The origin of this letter is unknown.

I think I just figured out one problem. I think way too much.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Serious Sunday

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

C.S. Lewis

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Once Upon a Time

There is nothing better than a sea of attentive listeners with eyes focused on you. I got to do all the talking! My first storytime was so much fun. I was ready at the door to greet them as they came prancing in......don't you wish you could still get so excited about something like going to the library? Plus, they were spellbound through the story. I had a captive audience of about 15 four - year olds. We read the story Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes. It is a wonderful story about a precious little mouse with a long and different name. The children make fun of her when she goes to school. It has alot of applications but we chose exploring the one about how special a name is. My friend, Tawana is my right hand and right brain and she chose the story for me. We sang some name songs and did a craft with each of our names. I think we ran over an hour but the moms didn't seem to mind that I had their kids! I think I am going to love BOOKWORMS. If you have any suggestions on great books, let me know. I am trying to categorize the book with a few songs and a craft that apply. I have tons of resources from 30 years at school and a plethora of knowledge from Tawana.

I am going to school tomorrow to have lunch with some of my little 2nd grade now 3rd grade buddies who called me to join them. I won't be on my "alma mater" campus so it will be easier to go! I still have NOT stepped foot on the place I called my home for 30 years. I am just not ready for that. It would seem way weird to see someone else sitting at my desk. It might get violent even though it was my choice. Don't get wrong, no regrets and I am loving this retirement stuff.

Possum and her mommy have been here this week and I am having fun spoiling them. Their daddy is missing them so they won't be here much longer because they miss him too. I'll see Tiny Princess in 2 weeks when I go meet them all three in the metroplex for a wedding. But, sometime between then I have got to see my favorite two campers who are being held captive by the public school system. I think I need to bring them home with me and homeschool them. They could be my own private bookworms. They had a great start to their school year though and I am SO proud of them. Lulu said Kindergarten was fun and she got to go back the next day. Rooster was decked out from head to toe looking all GQ athlete for his first day. Fifth grade is demanding socially you know. He still does NOT like girls and that is OK with me. I know the day will come when Neena is just on the back burner! I always remind him that no matter what I am his # 1 and he is all agreeable with that now but I am no fool. I am still waiting for their mommy to post first day school pictures. But she started back to her school job too so between ballet, baseball, basketball, marathon training, running MOM's taxi, church, cooking and cleaning etc.....I'll let her slip this time. I am really missing them all too. But, she better be ready for a suprise visit from Neena any minute. I can't stand it much longer waiting for them to come looks like a road trip is imminent. Who do I call about gas prices and maybe getting a senior discount?

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

My Perfect Schedule

My Perfect Schedule does not exist. I give up. For the past 30 years my life has been pretty much on a schedule so perfect that a burglar could time breaking in my house and knowing just what time I was returning down to the second. I can't believe that never happened. I was like clockwork. Everyday. Same time out. Same time in. Always in a rush.

I always carried a little datebook/calendar/journal in my purse so that I would know where I was supposed to be at what time, who had a game that day, who had dental appointments, and what I had to get at the store. I was useless without that book! I still carry one and it seems just as full as ever. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
Even back then, in my busiest time of life, I never seemed to get it all done. All 3 kids were super involved in school and all sports! As now, I never want to miss anything so most of the get it, right?

Even when it was off season it was on season for something. I was running kids everywhere. Not just my own. I always seemed to have a carload of mine and everyone else's kids. And, I loved it. The kids called our car the family truckster. It was a silver Chevy station wagon and it was always loaded. We ate breakfast in there on the way to school and had changes of clothes, uniforms, and sporting goods in the back. I could have pulled over at any given time and had a garage sale out of my car. That car is a legend and has provided many laughs for our family. It's a post of it's own!

But no matter how hard I tried and still do I just can't ever get to the bottom of my to do list. My extreme desire to try though has led me to a life of being a multi tasker. I am a perfect and self taught multi tasker. You can be in a conversation with me and you would never realize that I am planning a dinner party, making notes for next project, or randomly selecting appointments that I need to schedule via mental satellite.

I believe in post in notes too. They are everywhere around here and in my car. They work too! They remind me of things a million times a day. I wish I would have invented those little buggars.

So, this week, I am starting to realize that I have got to get a grip and face the fact. I am retired. I am not at that desk with a million deadlines and balances and checks. I just don't have to worry about getting all those things done anymore. I don't have to worry if I forgot to mail something or lock something in the safe. Or if I returned a phone call or scheduled a field trip, or made a school deposit. But, I miss it. I miss the energy and the camaraderie of people. I have been just staying in this house and not leaving for days! I know.....not.good.for. your.

The good news is that tomorrow starts my volunteer job at the public library. I am so excited. I am going to set the alarm and then I am going to get up and get dressed. I am going to get my little book bag that I have packed with my story, my craft stuff, and my songbook for kids and head downtown to greet all the new bookworms that are coming in to meet me! It is good to have a purpose.

But I do have to concur with other anal retentive, OCD, schedulers, planners and post it noters, that before you can have a purpose you have to have all your ducks in a row before taking on new projects. I have been bombarded with phone calls telling me how invaluable I could be to this organization or to that organization......but I am being very careful what I say yes to. Because as Confucius say, "Too many ducks in a row cause boat to sink." At least I think it was him that said that!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

I have officially declared September 1st the first day of "getting your fall stuff" out of the attic. I know. It's still 110 degrees in the shade but somewhere, just not in Texas, there are trees starting to think about changing their colors. There is a crisp little hint of fall in the air. There are pumpkins getting ripe and fat for the harvest. I LOVE FALL. So, on this decree all you little decorators.......start your engines. Do something in the name of fall today. Only about 80 or so days until it's time to start getting the Christmas decorations out. That ought to scare the beejeebers out of you.