Everyone Needs a Conscience

This woman is without a doubt the other side of my soul. She has taken me broken, spent, and hopeless and made me see worth in myself and the world around me. She is the other voice in our trio. I am not trying to sound boastful, but Becky, Tawana and I have been so entwined through our journey into this part of our lives that when we sing, our harmony is unique. Sometimes we start singing and can't stop. Sometimes we just need to sing to feel complete and calm . Then we meet somewhere or take a car trip around town or sit on someone's porch and SING. We don't care who hears! We have many years of memories of going to the beach together every summer and there we would sing our hearts out on the balcony overlooking the ocean and God's glory. It was then, while at the beach, that there was nothing that could be negative in our lives. Four of us traveled there every summer. After one our group died from breast cancer we haven't been back since. But, we are going to. It is Tawana's favorite place in the world.....the beach. She loves the beach, pumpkins, fall, holidays, traveling, and laughing! She has the best laugh in the world!

Each of us has talents that are particular or peculiar. But, we share a deep connection with each other. We have grown up together, raised our children together, in some instances saved our marriages together, and are daily praying for each other and trying to encourage each other into Heaven.

But, Tawana. She is our leader. She is our strength and our teacher. She knows the right words, the right verses, and knows what key we need to be in whether in be on pages of our music or pages of our lives. She has saved me so many times. She is one of those gifted people that literally can do anything. She is a decorator, a scholar, a Bible teacher, a teacher, a mentor, a mother, and a friend. She is a carpenter, a plumber, a gardener, a "pick up a task and run with it" kind of person. She is beautiful on the outside and the inside. She glows. She is a minister to others, an organizer superior, a chef, a Mimi. When my children were small ( and even now ) if something can't be fixed, figured out or finished, their first words were, "Mom, just call Tawana." Even my parents echo, "There is nothing that Tawana can't do." And that is the truth.

There have been so many times when I have been hurting or needed someone to talk to and it seems I can't get to her side quick enough. There I am consoled and encouraged. She always knows what to say or what to do. I can truly say that she is my conscience. I have to always know that she believes in me. She is truly one of the greatest gifts of my life. One of the wonderful things about the friendship that we three girls share is that we know how much we need each other.

And, I'm not saying all this because it is almost her birthday. But, it is. Almost her birthday. In fact, it is her birthday on May 5th. Which is coming up very soon. Happy Birthday Tewiki and MANY MANY MANY more.

Joy Wherever She Goes

Not everyone can coax and smile and a laugh just by giving someone a hug. But, this girl can. You are never feeling bad for very long when Becky comes in a room. She is without a doubt the most wonderful friend. First and foremost though she is a child of God. She is quick to note that. She really doesn't have to say it because she lives it. Wherever she is. Young and old respect her and love her. She is a friend that you can ( and I have ) call in the middle of the night. We have been through alot together. If I had to ever say anything negative about Becky it would be that she is WAY TOO HARD on herself. She never says a cruel word, she has a very succesfull career, she still loves and supports her 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren. She loves her life now. She is free from abuse and hurt. During those years she stayed close to God and fed on the words of the Bible. God prepared her for this next portion of her life . No doubt about it. Which is what got her to this remarkable place in her life. She serves God at Rest Home services each Sunday and greets/hugs/kisses every resident. They look for her. They love her. I do too.....You'd be hard pressed to ever find someone to say a bad word about my best friend. Then you'd have to cross me too.

This pretty much describes me today! I go back to work tomorrow after a week's absence. Although, I am looking forward to getting back to my friends, I am not looking forward to going back and seeing the workload left on my desk. The upside to all this is I realize that this job will go on when I don't! Retirement is close. I have tried several times to count the days but so far have not. I don't really want to know how close it is. Someone else has been hired to take my place and I anticipate meeting her sometime this week. I am glad I was out of the office when they hired her. Giving up this job is like giving away puppies. You want it to go to someone who will love it like you did. I am a creature of habit. I never liked change. I like to go the same familiar places, with the same familiar people, in the same familiar town, and surround myself with the same familiar friends. Right now though, I am feeling rather needy because I know all that is fixing to change. I have seen it happen when others leave their jobs. It is not the same when you call or when you stop by and visit. My world is going to be totally different from the one I've been in for X amount of years. I am going to have to establish some goals and find some projects or volunteer work. I am not a sitter. I do plan to spend alot more time with family, that' s true. Let's face it though, I don't believe they want to wake up every morning with me on the porch with their morning paper and a smile! I realize that I am going to have all this time to do all the things I want to do. Things just for me! Funny thing though, I don't remember what they were.

Let Your Hands Be Busy

I normally do not embrace manual labor. However, today the littlest princess in the family drove away and I begged my Daddy to let me help him weed his flower beds. Call it what you will. The next few days will call for lots of busy work. Idle hands.....you know what they say!

DOES ANYONE HAVE THE TIME?

In my home I have a large antique clock that hangs over my mantle and chimes on the hour and the half hour. But, I have not been home now for 5 days and in 5 days I have had absolutlely no idea what time it is. But, it doesn't matter. I have not needed to know. Things around here are on supply and demand. We sleep when we want and eat when we want. I wrote a check at the grocery store today and was very suprised to learn that it is indeed Wednesday, April 18th. I am not looking forward to going home. Back to a schedule, clocks, and no naps. And certainly no little soft kisses from the pinkest little lips you have ever seen.

I WARNED YOU.....

I warned you.........isn't she beautiful????? She adds # 3 to my beautiful grandchildren.

I wasn't the only one excited! Reid and Macy were thrilled to meet their new cousin. I am not getting much rest ! But who cares!!!!!! There is no better nap than this.

As if my blessings don't already abound I have one more coming in June! Another girl. And I can barely wait to meet her. I am about to decide that I really am going to like this retirement stuff!

God Blesses Me Again...and again...again

I've been in Houston since Friday to be a part of the birth of my 3rd grandchild......AVERY NAOMI. And,please forgive the bragging but OMG....she is abosolutely beautiful. 7 lbs. 12 oz and 21 inches long. This day has long been prayed for and waited for ..... believe me...if you have read much of this story our Avery is a miracle. Today Ashley and BA came home with arms full and happy hearts. I wish I had pictures to share tonight. Don't get me wrong I have some. Over 100 but I am not home to load them or upload them or whatever it is you do. If Ashley is feeling better tomorrow we may try. Hopefully, I will figure that out before the week is up. I plan to stay in Houston for the week and rock this beautiful child while her mother gets some much needed rest. The last few weeks have been quite an ordeal. My "son in love's" father passed away on Good Friday. His services were Thursday the 12th and Avery was born on her late grandfather's birthday Friday the 13th. From henceforth more named the LUCKIEST DAY IN THE WORLD.

Safe

Sometimes my restlessness catches up with me and I crumble. It takes alot to make it happen but it eventually does. Here are the latest top 10 events to send me running to my Saviour's arms today:
1. A new precious granddaughter to be born any minute. She is no longer Possum but has a real name that shall remain sealed behind my quivering lips.

2. Are you sure I really said I was going to retire? Now, what am I going to do?

3. My expectant daughter is grieving tonight over the death of her father in law 3 days ago. His services are tomorrow in San Antonio. I will be driving there for the service. She is home alone in Houston while hubby is in SA with his family and wanting to be with her too. Too many entanglements.

4. DID YOU HEAR ME????? I WILL BE DRIVING IN SAN ANTONIO. I do not know San Antonio. Nor do I know where I am going. Someone told me that if I get to the Alamo then I went too far. Thanks for the advice.

5. I never never never cry. My mother doesn't cry. She can't remember when the last time was that she cried. We thought it was defective tearducts or hormones run amok. But, tonight mine opened and the tears won't stop.

6. I am supposed to be meeting with a retirement advisor with any questions that I might have for this most final decision I have made. How the heck do I know what questions to ask. I just know that I did not plan very well for my retirement years financially. I did not realize they would get here so quick. So, if you see a sweet, new little lady greeting at Walmart just shake my hand and walk quickly by. Don't act like you know me.

7. My mother's head wound last week , that required 46 stitches, is healing very nicely. That was another ordeal that ended positively. She almost got a forehead lift and looks younger than I do.

8. I just changed insurance policies for both cars and the house. I had to make double payments this month. You gotta love small town banking when they call you and are whispering to hurry and get some money in your account. And you do.

9. My precious daughter-in-love who is also pregnant is awaiting her glucose test and worrying about the results. There is too much to worry about. But, I think she mostly worries about being married to my son who worries about too much like his mother. God bless her.

AND 10. When am I going to realize that I can not answer all the problems of the world? When am I going to believe that God feeds the sparrows? When am I going to believe that I really can run into the arms of my God for refuge? Maybe now. Believe me, I am weary.

He Is Your Guy

In a world where no one can count on anyone to be honest and get a job done, this is your guy. He is dependable. He works cheap. He is a laugh a minute. He sings while he works. If he can find dependable transportation he is there when he says. He works long hours. He is a light eater but does pause for anything Mickey Mouse.

This is my great nephew. And yes, I think he is the cutest thing ever. He has been partnering with his dad and a bunch of others in their own version of EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER. His mommy is very sick in the hospital and has been there now for 2 months. During her hospitalization her sweet hubby found a house that he thought she would like. So, digital pictures and contracts started flying back and forth. Soon, it was a done deal. But, there was quite a bit of work to be done. So, now paint swatches, carpet samples, knobs, granite, and bathroom fixtures are being drug through the hospital for approval. She has some wonderful girlfriends who she is trusting with details that she can't be there for. Not to mention the most wonderful mom/dad and in-laws to help. Hoardes of friends show up nightly and work is ongoing in every single room. I hear it is already a show place. Her family and friends want her to be able to come home and sit down and not have to do anything. Even the unpacking will be done. It is very possible that she will be hospitalized for the duration of her pregnancy. Now she is only 23 weeks, I believe. She is expecting a little brother who will also sign on to this crew. Please please please remember this remarkable Christian family in your prayers. Storm the gates of Heaven for her speedy recovery and a healthy baby. They are always the "givers" so it is hard for them to be on the "receiver" end, but it just shows how much they are loved and respected. I am proud to be their auntie~

FEAR TAKETH OVER

First let me say, I DO NOT LIKE TO GO THE DENTIST. However, I think good teeth are essential. It is one of the first things that I notice about a person. I think your teeth tell alot about you. I know successful people that have the nastiest, yellowist, rotten and gross teeth and they just go through like nothing is wrong. My parents spent some good money on my teeth. I should have realized I would have to keep it up to keep 'em good. I made sure my children alwasy had their regular check ups, cleanings and we did the braces things for all three of them. Teeth are important. Just ask a horse. But, I don't like the dentist office and it's smells, it's weird utensils, the long needles ( have you ever looked?) and the fact that my mouth has to hang open and drool . So, uncouth. I do not like the dental theory. But, I like my dentist. Now, that I have that out of the way you will be suprised to know that I did, indeed, go to the dentist today. It had been put off longer than I thought. According to their records it was in this decade but still longer than I should have waited. I meant to. I really meant to go alot. I meant to call and make an appointment almost every month. But, something always got in the way. Like having some other hideous procedure. Or, banging my head against brick wall, or sticking bamboo splinters under my fingernails, or having my eyebrows waxed. Any excuse to not follow through and go.

You are probably thinking, "Oh girl, put your big girls on and go." Certainly after all I have been through a trip to the dentist shouldn't be frightful. To top it off, I have a wonderful and compassionate dentist who is so high tech and dental savvy I have nothing to ever worry about. So, today I went. I kept my appointment and I am very proud of myself. I am not sure why I am proud because I don't have a clue what went on. They strapped me on to the nitrous oxide machine and for 2 hours I didn't hear drilling, feel needles, or smell that gross tooth grinding smell. That nitrous is some good stuff. It was a wonderful ethereal and relaxing visit. I couldn't believe it was over. Until I wrote my check. Then I remembered why I was scared of the dentist. IT COSTS TOO MUCH.. they need to give your nitrous at the check out desk. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$