Friday, May 30, 2008

First let me say. This is not my wedding picture. But, my wedding picture would have been there if I could have figured out how to use my scanner and upload it into blogger. Blogger and I have a love - hate relationship with photos.
But, I will say this. Yesterday was our 37th wedding anniversary. I don't know where time goes. Somewhere really fast, is all I know. This boy child that married this girl child so very young on that day are now thinking they are still the boy and girl with just alot more things that ache and hurt! And alot of love that has taken some pretty good "licks" but is still very much beating.
If anyone of you has ever been in love, the real kind - the forever kind, then you know it's sort of like riding an eternal roller coaster, the fastest and scariest roller coaster in the world. You get on with this partner and you never get off. NEVER. There are times when you may want to jump off but never do.
I have learned alot of things about myself during these years. I have learned that I am selfish. I didn't mean to be and I've worked hard to change that. He's worked too on his own issues. Work. That's part of it. I've learned that love changes and takes on new feelings. I never agreed with that popular saying from the 70's that said, "Love means never having to say I'm sorry." I think it is so FALSE. Love has everything about saying I'm sorry. Admitting your mistakes, taking responsibility when you've made hurtful choices or said mean things. Words cannot be taken back. Apologies can ease that hurt. Love also changes and morphs into different seasons. These seasons are pretty unexplainable unless you have crossed over into them. During the early season there is so much learning to do. It is so important that within your own relationship you each are trusted to find your own support groups with friends. At least it was for us. For guys to do guy things and girls to do girl things. And you respect and honor those times. But, no matter how much you have known or been with the that person you do NOT know them. You spend years developing your own inside beliefs, morals, and friendship circles with this person. Sometimes the borders are hard to establish but in our case, these boundaries were established effortlessly and easily. We raised 3 strong children who were the center of our universe. Being a family was all we saw or wanted. We chose to teach the same things we had been taught. And despite our many mistakes they came out on the other side of our immature skills like troopers. All the while the marriage is still a work in progress. A flip of the roller coaster basket. And you hang on. Marriage seasons go very fast. Especially the one that involves the raising of the children. POOF. You almost lose your own identity and think you may have. All of a sudden the children are gone and another season enters. The season of "Who in the world lives in this house with me?" It's a fun and exciting season because you pretty much start back at the beginning for awhile and get to know that person with the familiar face. It's not all fun and games though. Somewhere in the midst and changing of the seasons it is very easy to lose who you were or thought you were. You have each learned to be the person that God intended you to be but you never realized that you/he changed. And grew. And became grown! No longer that handsome guy in the wedding picture looks the same or the bride with the big dreams. But, if you have prayed together and loved together, all those changes in that season bring you closer. Thankfully, your love has deepened to the extent that you accept, embrace, and love those changes even if you don't agree. Love is so much about being a good companion too. A better friend. A precious lover. It is someone who doesn't mind holding your hair back while you are wretchingly sick, or bringing you a sprite when you are sick. It is someone who watches the Lifelight helicopter take off not knowing .... not knowing if that last season will ever come. It someone who lets you be yourself because they know that is all you can be. It is understanding the word stubborn and thinking it is a good word. It's letting God lead your marriage and not running ahead to try to make it your way. It is scraping pennies to go visit the kids. It is decisions to be made and jokes yet to tell. It is still waiting anxiously for his car to come down the drive after work. It's all the little things. It's looking back and seeing only happy times not the mistakes. It is not roses, fancy restaurants, perfect words or lots of money. It's just that simple. And why do people, even me, try to make it so hard. Happy Anniversary my sweetie.


Aggiema (Michelle) said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope you have many more years together!

Giggi said...

Happy Anniversary! We just had our 30th! Wow! We must've really married YOUNG!!! Kindergarten, maybe.

The Doty's Dish said...

You know what's so great? That Mitchell and I have something to look up to. We have an example of what a relationship can be if two can keep love and the Lord in it. Thanks...we love you. happy anniversary (yesterday).

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for this! I REALLY needed to hear it NOW! How exciting for you both! What a blessing you have and the fact that you know it makes it so much better! Congrats and Happy Anniversary!

Adventures in Stepford said...

A lovely an insightful post; congratulations on your anniversary & good marriage. A blessing.

Thank you for your kind comments on my recent post; reading this is a reminder of what I'm praying and hoping toward.