GEEZER CAR
(no offense if this is your car)
this story is dedicated to and researched especially for my sweet cousin, Melissa.
After all my road travels of late on winding country roads with no passing lanes and being stuck behind tractors. And all the wandering aimlessly on the expansive and confusing tollroads I encountered it was found to be true that not everyone should drive. Sadly, I was probably one of them! I was very amused to have found this story. I refuse, however, to say that I totally related it.
After all my road travels of late on winding country roads with no passing lanes and being stuck behind tractors. And all the wandering aimlessly on the expansive and confusing tollroads I encountered it was found to be true that not everyone should drive. Sadly, I was probably one of them! I was very amused to have found this story. I refuse, however, to say that I totally related it.
Dave Barry's Advice on How to Drive Like an Old Geezer
1. The "geezer" car should be as large as possible. If necessary, get two cars and have them welded together.
2. You should grip the wheel tightly enough so that you cannot be detached from it without a surgical procedure and you should sit way down in the seat so that you are looking directly at the speedometer.
3. You should select a speed of travel way in advance of your trip. 23 miles per hour is very popular. You should drive this speed at all times regardless of whether you're in your driveway or on the interstate.
4. If you are planning to make a turn at any point during your trip you should plan ahead by putting on your blinker as soon as you start your car to leave.
1 comment:
These were so funny! It made me think of Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes, she wasn't a Geezer, but her car kinda was. Remember in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot, when the young girl zipped in Kathy's spot in her little zippy car--and Kathy proceeded to ram it with her Pontiac/Buick/Geezer car, saying "I'm older and have better insurance."
Post a Comment