You Are My Favorite

I WAS BORN TO BE A MOTHER. Being a mother of 3, I can honestly and truly say that I love them all the same. I love them all passionately, unconditionally, and fiercely. I am telling you the truth when I say that I would give my own life to save theirs. I am a lioness protecting her cubs even though they are adults. I would still stand and fight for any of them, take up for them, and comfort them like I did when they were small children. I gave them each a book for Christmas. Heather my oldest received, My Oldest Child, I Love You the Best ......Ashley my middle daughter is reading, My Middle Child, I Love You the Best .....and my baby (grown man) son is proud to own, My Baby, I Love You the Best. Each book enforces the truth, that a mother can not distinguish between those maternal surges of love that never end. That no one is a carbon copy of the other nor expected to be!
But, I can tell you that they each possess different talents and personalities. They were disciplined differently because what worked for one didn't for the other. They learned differently. They reacted to situations differently. What might cause one to burst into tears didn't affect the others at all. And vice and versa. They all were athletes in some way or another. The girls both actively pursued cheerleading and dance from Jr. High on through college cheerleading scholarships. They all are gifted speakers and used to represent their clubs and classes. Our son kept us in the bleachers for every sport for at least 12 years. Rain or shine....we were there. He led the prayer at his high school graduation. They were active with youth groups in church and very popular at school. They stood up for God and what they believed in and their friends respected them for that. But, they were still fun, happy, and energetic. None of them had a shy bone in their bodies! Ashley used to have a poster in her room with the bird from the Peanuts cartoon that had flocks of birds all over him and it said..."You can never have too many friends." That is how they all were. They never met a stranger and were all friends to everyone.....it didn't matter who you were or where you came from. I was always so proud of that trait in them all. They never judged others. Everyone looked the same to them. They are all 3 as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside too.
But today, I want to tell you about my oldest favorite. Her name is Heather and she is 33 years old. She is my most sensitive. She cares what everyone thinks about her. It bothers her if she thinks anyone is upset or mad at her. Her tears flow easily when moved by a word or a story. She believes everything! She finds the good in all people. She is so compassionate. When she was just a baby, she couldn't stand to be reprimanded. She would cry and some of her first words were, "Don't be mad for me " if you told her no no. Her spirit now is that of a Godly woman with a quiet and serving spirit. She is constantly studying and learning what God has planned for her life. Her children are being raised with loving parents who are consistent disciplinarians. If you are a parent you know how important consistency is. I look at her and hear her discussing life and wonder how she turned out so wonderful with me for a mother! Honestly. Miracles do happen.
For the past year she has been training to run in the Houston Marathon. In high school, Heather didn't play sports. She used to say it made her sweat. And that messed up her hair and make up. She stayed busy enough with cheerleading and dance team. She was in band and kept her grades up. When she was 14 she was in love with the high school quarterback. Who was a senior. Who didn't date and she couldn't yet. Who rode his bike 5 miles to our house to see her. Who was content to sit on our couch for 2 years until she was 16, or dating age. Who we loved dearly. Who is now her husband and the father of our precious grandchildren. Anyway, when Heather decided to start training to run the marathon we were all a little suprised but excited for her. As she likes to remind us, ".....one day she started running and couldn't stop." The famous words of Forrest Gump! All year she has faithfully trained with a group in the Bay area and today was their day. The large group ( I think about 300 ) was broken up into teams. She and 2 of her close friends were on the same team. The teams are ability grouped basically. The were training to run the 1/2 marathon this year which was 13 miles. They were NOT in the marathon to win or break a record. They were not in to prove something or to impress anyone. They were in to finish something they started. On Friday night she joined some of her team members for a carb buffet and a "Blessing of the Feet." Then this morning at 4:45 AM the same girls met with a large group at the site of the race and had church services before they lined up for the race to begin. One of the runners who had run there before told Heather that when she got to the top of the first hill to look back and see the amazing throng of runners behind. She was too scared she'd fall and get trampled! Around 20,000 runners lined up. We were able to track her online ( don't ask me how it worked ) and see her location/speed/and predicted finish time. Her husband and kids were there and would call Ashley every little bit to see where she was so they could drive up to the spot and catch a glimpse of her running by in the crowd of participants! Close to 11AM, Troy called Ashley for one final update and hurried to the spot where the finish line was. Ashley told him she should be coming down the hill any minute. Sure enough, here she came. Heather told me that she and her friends paced to join together for that finish line and held hands while they crossed it to the cheers of their husbands and children! Then they all burst into a heap of sobs! Victory cries. Overwhelming, exhausted, and happy tears.
I am big into analogies and could tell you how that reminds me of the race of life and our finish line at the feet of our Heavenly Father. But, I won't. But, it does. Overwhelming, exhausted and happy tears. And I don't even run.

2 Thumbs UP

I am not responsible for my actions if the theme song from ROCKY comes on. I finally made it to see Rocky Balboa last night. I confess I could barely sit still through church last night knowing I was headed there. It was so worth it. My precious tenderhearted best friend, Becky sat beside me sobbing through the whole movie! I actually had to go and get her more tissues! She leaned over about 20 minutes into it and mumbled, "I had no idea this was going to be so precious!" I am going to see it again so I can pick up a couple of the comments he made that were totally worth remembering but Becky was sniveling way too loud! Sometimes G just shakes his head in wonder of female hormones. We all spent the holidays watching all 5 of the other ones so we were hepped up to go. I don't care what you think or say, but Sylvester Stallone is a talented writer and actor. It really was a good story line about getting older and keeping your heart young. Which reminded me of myself and others I tend to hang out with! It wasn't about some tough guy but about a man who accepts what life has thrown at him. He has the kindest heart and there was not one curse word that I can remember or even noticed. He wasn't trying to be the best but to be the best he could be. Isn't that what we all should try? It was a touching story of father/son coming full circle as the father ages and the son enters adulthood. It was about being down on your luck and making the best of it. With what you have and not at other's expense. It's about missed opportunities, lost and found loves, and the desire to give something you totally love your very best last shot! He is always for the underdog. He wrote, directed, acted in all the movies. He was born with some type of slight paralysis in his face so with that and his accent he totally fits the role he created of Rocky. His "true life" son Sage was in Rocky V and is quite the handsome guy but he wasn't in the newest one. Most all the roles are still played by the original actors from Rocky I. And, at 60 , he looks amazing. There was no way that was photoshopped in. The guy works out. The guy can move. From what I have read he has spent the last 10 years getting in shape and staying in shape for this script in his head. You had to bust out with a laugh when in one of final scenes he comes into the ring amid the roars of the crowd, with me totally expecting to hear EYE OF THE TIGER, and Frank Sinatra booms out singing HIGH HOPES! If you go, stay for the credits. As the credits roll by there are film clips of ordinary people running up those famous steps in Philadelphia where Rocky trained and ended his workouts. They are priceless. This is not my typical type movie selection and I have no earthly idea why I have gotton so caught up in this anthology! But I did and I am. And I am not ashamed!

Who Me?

I was asked this morning by our campus principal to lead the prayer as our faculty assembled back together for a New Year. This is a small community and a very tight knit campus. Most of us have worked together for at least 20 years if not more. We know each other inside and out. It is a faculty of about 60 and most of us are friends in some capacity off campus too. Some of us go to church together. Some of us have raised our children together. I started working there when I was 25 years old! I had babies then that I dropped at daycare before work and went through a pregnancy while working full time. There were 8 of us pregnant that same year and we are still there now as grandmothers together! The principal was blamed for alot of things that year! HA! We have been through some pretty horrendous events together over the years, we collegues! We have cried at funerals, laughed ( and cried ) at weddings. We have been through divorces, court trials, family crisises, deaths of friends and family members, horrible accidents, fires, financial disasters, & famines! We have quarreled with each other and "kissed" and made up. We don't always agree! I am with them more than I am my own family on an hour to hour basis! I have "trained" and "broken in" 8 principals. Not an easy task either, let me tell you. I have watched so many children come and go and now their own children are in the schools and I have enjoyed reacquainting myself with them. Several of our younger teachers are alumni of our primary school! Our age ranges vary for sure. Some of us are thinking of ending our careers and leaving the place to the younger - more energetic ones. In several years there will be about 8 or 9 of us that will retire together! If not sooner. That all being said, these women ( & 2 men ) know me very well. They know the good about me, they know the bad about me. They have seen me sob and seen me laugh. I have very good friends there and some that I tolerate. They know the hurts I've endured and the hurts I've inflicted. I think they know deep down that I try to be a good person. I try to do what's right even though sometimes, ashamedly, I get caught up in the world and the chaos of working with a variety of personalities. As I have gotton older, I am much more verbal and say what I mean. Not always good.

I have not ever really worked for a principal that professed openly to being a Christian. One that tried to use God and prayer in the school setting, in decisions and the way she handles parents, children and staff. An administrator that encouraged us to treat others as we like to be treated. She actually has helped in my decision to continue to work for a few more years. I was about ready to throw in the "rag". I have worked under administrations that were ruthless, let me tell you. I take things very personally. I enjoy my job and have alot of fun. More than I should sometimes but I am very responsible and proud of the work ethic and the reputation that I have as a dedicated employee that knows the school laws, the curriculum, the TEKS, the TAKS and the tests! I know the individual families. I know almost every child's phone number by memory! All 500 or so of them. It is a "Rain Man" trait. But, I have to say that if the office staff isn't happy, "ain't nobody happy". There is nothing more ruthless than a mean woman principal. I would much rather work for a man!

So, this morning when approached to pray openly I did not hesitate. I was not nervous but I did precede my prayer with a statement that I saw met friendly glances around the room. I told them that I was honored to pray with them. That they all knew me well and knew that I did not always feel worthy to pray. But, as a commandment I did. A commandment that I pray to a Father to guide me and forgive me. To lead me and help me be a better person. We don't have to be perfect to pray. I am NOT perfect but I know someone WHO IS. It is to Him I prayed this morning. I know that God heard it and I pray that the children, parents and fellow friends of my school will be blessed in 2007.

YO Adrian!

They have sat on a shelf in the bedroom since last Christmas. Just looking at me everyday. They aren't even mine. They were a gift for G last year. Earlier this week, out of boredom (?) and the need to sit down I pulled the set down and opened them. I pulled out the original Rocky, popped it in the DVD and it all started. I have been obsessed the last few days watching the Rocky movies I - V. Or as the box called them ROCKY ANTHOLOGY. Don't even ask me why. I don't know. Totally out of my character. I sat in the dark alone for 5 straight hours last night watching III and IV. All I can say is if the song "Eye of the Tiger" comes on you better get out of my way. One good thing about getting older is that I did not remember seeing any of them! Every now and then a scene would come on and I would get a "flashback". But, for the most part they were all new to me. I knew for certain that I hadn't seen V though. Normally, 100% of the time, I am a girlie girl movie watcher. Every now and then I'll endure something out of the ordinary. I liked all the "Raiders of the Lost Ark "movies but they had flickers of romance. I liked the movie "First Knight" but of course it had romance too. Movies like that without violence. But Rocky?!? Now, there was some fighting. But also, a very sweet love story line continues through each one. A strong marriage theme between Rocky and Adrian. They support, respect, and love each other. I loved it. I was on my feet screaming ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY along with the crowd on the screen. Hope the neighbors weren't window peeping again! When Eye of the Tiger came on it was a good thing I didn't have the vacuum cleaner hooked up because I think I could have sucked up the carpet. I loved all 5 of them. I just got online and saw that the 6th one, or "Rocky Balboa" is on in Austin. I am so excited I wish I could go to the midnight feature tonight. I will be going sometime this week. And I'll be back with a review. Does anyone besides me like ROCKY?

Who Is Auld ang Zyne?

Happy New Year to all of you. I hope that the New Year is filled with blessings galore as you seek and find the Lord more in your heart. He is coming back VERY soon. Don't say I didn't tell you! I wish for you good health and happiness to fill your lives. I hope you have more friends than enemies. If you don't, then pray for your enemies! Pray for them anyway. I hope you learn how important it is to have a prayer life and to study God's Word. It isn't just a Sunday kind of love. It's a daily.....hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second kind of love.

I'll be honest and say that I don't have an idea what the New Year holds for me. There are new babies coming. There are family members that are very sick. There is medicine to have refilled and lab tests to take. There are more Dr. appointments.......it's colonoscopy year too ( TMI, I know. ), I need a new crown on a bad tooth, I have got to start a healthier diet. I have got to start a consistent exercise program. I was doing so good until 7/4. I must start all over again now. I hate being a procrastinator. I'll work on that~tomorrow.

I will say this.......I don't know about tomorrow and I don't care. I just know for now that all around me life is good. I continue to pray for strength not for a perfect life but to accept and be strong with the one I have. Which, right now seems pretty perfect.

Choose to live your life for right this year. Seek out happiness don't wait for it to come to you. Seek out the good in everyone. Think happy and meaningful thoughts and speak the same. Find God in the purest and simplest of places. Worship Him with all your heart. Encourage me to do the same as I will you. I know the right things to do, I just don't like to always do them.

So, my New Year's advice to you to remember is this:

"A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts. But no. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping is what we are become."

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some Resolutions to Be Made

This was rather interesting. So, just in case you want to get out of the kitchen in the next few days and act like you are doing important work from home on the computer, try this yourself. I think there are some things I need to work on. Hope everyone is having a great time this holiday weekend.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6
Mind:	5.5
Body:	5.7
Spirit:	5.2
Friends/Family:	7.5
Love:	5.5
Finance:	3.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Silent Night

I have been sitting in the quietness of my home listening to the rain fall and watching the Christmas lights on the tree. It's Texas and it is almost 70 degrees outside. I have laundry to do, dishes to put up, and gifts to wrap. For some reason I can't convince myself to do anything. In the excitement of this season I can't stop thinking about those families who don't have anything to be excited about. Maybe it comes from working in the public schools. The children are breaking my heart. I have heard more than once this week, "Santa, isn't coming to my house." "We don't have a tree at home." I feel helpless that I can't scoop them all up and bring them home to make gingerbread men while Christmas carols play. That we can't all wrap gifts and exchange them with each other. That I can't tuck them each in bed warm with their tummies full. Yet, I spent hours decorating my house. I have spent countless dollars on gifts that I probably had more fun buying than anyone will have receiving. I feel so selfish. I have more than words can express. I have treasures that will remain on this earth when all else is past. Yet, if I have any gift to offer it would be to look beyond the physical that we place so much emphasis on. To take simple things like a hug, a kind word, or an understanding touch as a gift. This world is not our home. If at no other time do I reflect God to others, I pray it is now. So tonight, I know I am way deep. Too deep for myself. I have given myself a headache. I have sat and basked in the happiness that I have been able to experience on a daily basis and probably taken for granted. That I serve a risen Saviour. That He loves me unconditionally and forever. That I am part of a promise. That my blessings are so abundant and I am so undeserving. I am so blessed and it will be my unending exclamation throughout the New Year.

Click on the link below to see a beautifully done movie and words of inspiration for Christmas. Sit in the darkness if you can and listen and read every word.

Silent Night

Refine Me.... Refine Me......Dear Lord

A pretty awesome story...
Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study .That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it." If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Decision to a Personal Dilemma

I am not one of those people who are overly fond of reading those "bragging" Christmas letters about how the entire family has exceeded in everything they attempted for the entire year. About how everything is just so easy and wonderful. How smart their children are. How successful their careers are. Etc. Etc. Etc. Nonetheless, I always receive a few every year. I always read them and I am sure I smirk my little smug smirk that says, "No one can be that perfect!"

So here is my dilemma. I want to send one out this year about my family. Only it will not be a normal one. Most of these people that will get our card I only hear from once a year along with an occasional email forward. They don't know the half of what I have been dealing with all year. Not near as much as you do ....those who have read my blog this year. They don't know the bad things that have happened along with the good things. Even though they don't mention theirs I am going to tell them mine. Here is a brief synopsis of how it will go the BAD WITH THE GOOD:

Dear Ones,
Yes, the picture attached shows my beautiful and smiling family. This picture was made after Texas lost to the Aggies. We are wearing our Horns shirts totally believing it was a rigged game to save some coach's neck. They are smiling only because I threatened them all. This picture was made at 9:00 PM at night on deck outside. It was freezing. Macy had already had to get marched into the house and threatened by her mother, my daughter. Reid was standing by me because he didn't want to stand by his sister while she got in trouble. Ashley had to wear her jean jacket over her shirt. That is her story though. Otherwise we all coordinated nicely and the jacket made a definite fashion statement. The 4 guys on the back row never moved. They had the exact same look in the entire roll that was shot. No obligations except to look handsome. The girls, myself included, were all shuffling on the front row trying to get the project moving so we could go inside. The picture being made in itself is a Christmas miracle. I was determined......or as my children would lovingly and respectfully say........stubborn and "hellbent".

So, dear ones, here is a story of our year.
January........cold.....boring........property taxes about killed us along with Christmas debt. Mom and Dad both were very sick with the flu, strep and a touch of pneumonia. After 2 trips to the ER..... I put Mom in the hospital and "locked" Daddy in the house to keep him in. I mean I literally had to call for help from my sisters because he would not stay put. As sick as he was! I couldn't be at the hospital with mom and keeping him from sneaking out in the cold.
February.......a busy month of birthdays for our family. I let the maid go. Daddy had some minor surgery. Outpatient. All is fine.
March......A month full of dr. appointments and G started working nights for the month.
April......A dear friend from church died after battling cancer.
May.......A month full of buying wedding gifts and hostessing showers. I went through a book of checks. The end of another school year made me think ever so briefly about retiring.
June.......The month for mammograms, well checks, and bathing suits. I rarely left the pool. I checked the mail about once every 2 weeks. I thought I was getting that phobia that people have when they don't want to leave their houses.
July.........I had another heart attack and spent the night of the 4th in STARFLIGHT headed to the Heart Hospital. The rest of the month is spent at the doctor and on the couch. That is until I returned to the office on the 25th for school registration. Did I mention I thought about retirement?
August......9 family birthdays....................$$$$$ Back to school $$$$$$$ More blood work and tests.
September......More tests this time in Houston. Daddy had a TIA ( small stroke ) Spent several days in the hospital. On the happiest side, we found out we were going to be grandparents again in April. Am still grinning in December. Got a nice raise at work.
October......Began remodeling household areas that I never should have started.....$$$$$$ need therapy for too much HGTV. Went to Abilene to see son and daughter in laws new home. Took grandchildren. Had a WONDERFUL TIME
November.....I don't think I participated in November. Although, I do remember a wonderful Thanksgiving with family. Found out we were going to be grandparents again in June.......really grinning now. I think I'll grin forever.
December......I have NO earthly idea how it got here. I have not finished shopping. There are 20 more days til' Christmas. I have to have a stress test. A month full of parties every weekend and even some during the week. The house to straighten and get ready for company. Gifts to wrap. Food to cook. Still have to go to work. Property taxes are coming due again. Notes coming due at the bank. We need a new roof. We need new carpet. Did I mention I want to retire?

Hope your year was extra happy too. Me? I am just glad to be here. Have a wonderful New Year 2007.

Sincerely,

the &*&^%&*%% family

So what do you think? Should I send it?

Bubble Lights

I'm not known for my great memory. In fact, I daily think that someone is zapping brain cells away and stealing my past. Every now and then something, a sound, a smell, a voice, a story, or just something random makes me pause and think about something that was a special memory. We were decorating the tree tonight and a rush of memories came back of all the many trees I have decorated. Or participated in decorating. We always had REAL trees. The smell of usually cedar fills my brain with the sights and sounds of Christmas. We always had the most special Christmases. My parents made sure of that. When I became a parent, I started my own Christmas memories but they always included my parents, sisters, neices, nephews and now grandchildren. I have found that it is lots of work, anticipation, shopping, and cooking. I wouldn't have it any other way. We grew up decorating the tree and hanging the stockings and that was it. That was all anyone ever did. Wham.....bam......we were done. Now, don't ask me who started this, the whole house is a Christmas extravaganza. It takes me days to get the tree just right. Then the mantle. Then every nook and cranny of the house and porch is like the North Pole. I am not complaining I love it! When it is finished I bask in the wonder of it. I have parties, invite friends over, beg strangers in off the street, open the door to the neighborhood dogs. Anyone is welcome. There is nothing like it. I am NOT a perfectionist. I certainly am not. Everything turns out different every year. I can't remember one year to the next what went where. It makes it all seem new. So, if you are in the neighborhood, please stop by. I have a candy cane with your name on it.

Hot chocolate or eggnog? chocolate Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?Unwrapped every child's in a different location Colored lights on your tree/house or white? colored on the tree and white on the house Do you hang mistletoe? Yes, very realistic plastic When do you put up decorations? Christmas Music after T'giving, house decorations in the beginning of December, and full-on tree, etc, What does your favorite christmas meal include? Meal? Turkeys/ham/all the usual holiday casseroles/ tons of sweets and Aunt Kathy's sugar cookies Favorite christmas memory from childhood?Sleeping on the floor at Granny Price's watching the bubble lights on her "Charlie Brown" tree
How and when did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember. And I'm glad. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Kids, yes. Adults, no. How do you decorate your christmas tree? TONS AND TONS of decorations from Christmases past and present Snow! Love it or leave it? Love it, and miss it. But, hey, it's Central Texas Can you ice skate?In theory, yes, but I haven't done it in many years.
Do you remember your favorite gift? A real life baby doll from the "dime" store in Stephenville. And of course, my Barbie's wedding dress. What's the most important thing about christmas for you? I love being with family. All crowded and noisy. Gifts galore. And precious children with eyes wide. And of course the reason for all my season....SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING and FALL.......Jesus Christ What is your favorite christmas tradition? Making new ones every year. What tops your tree? An angel. What is your favorite christmas song? O'Holy Night. It breaks me to the very soul. I sob. But, I love them all.

What about you? Merry Christmas

GET THEE BEHIND ME

Honestly. If this sounds humorous it is not supposed to. I truly believe that the devil is after me. Everytime I try to do something good it comes back to bite me. I learned many years ago not to talk about people, they will always find out and it will sound much worse than what you originally meant to say ugly. Remember to pray because you will need God really bad the next day and then feel guilty you didn't go to Him when you really didn't need Him. Don't go to places that you aren't supposed to go because SOMEONE will see you there whether you know it or not. Always do your best the first time because doing things over again is not fun. Tell the truth at all costs because "you can't hide your lying eyes". Which by the way is my favorite old song. Be an example to everyone because you might cause someone to stumble. This is an old Church of Christ scare tactic but it is TRUE. I know because someone made me stumble tonight. Tonight was our Ladies Bible Study night and I decided about 3 this afternoon that I just had way too much to do at home tonight. I wasn't very productive this weekend and now I have double to do before hosting a church party Sun. night. Plus, company coming in next week for the holidays. So, I came straight home at 4:30 and set about domestic chores. Whistling while I worked. We, the Whitfields, whistle alot. I started a load of wash. Folded another load. Mentally making notes about all I was going to get done tonight. Big, fat and juicy hamburgers sounded yummy so I started cooking my speciality. I set the table. I flipped the burgers and then remembered I had left the lemon/pepper out on the deck at the grill. So, out I went. Singing as I go. I bounced back in the back door and fell off the step down in the family room. I was totally breathless and writhing in pain before I could call out for help. Only the fish in the aquarium witnessed this horrific event. They all swam over to the side of the tank. I heard the same familiar pop/crack as I did when I fell going out the door going to church a few months ago. That time I drove myself to the ER. BAD SPRAIN, they said. So, tonight I diagnosed myself with another bad sprain and have been on the couch with an ice pack for 3 hours. Still throbbing and MAD at my graceful self. Laundry surrounds me. Dishes are in the sink. The vacuum is in the middle of the floor. Nothing is done. I don't have a maid. Are you seeing a pattern here? Bible study......out the door to church......fall........I was thinking that if it felt better tomorrow I would miss Wed. class and catch up...BUT NOT ON YOUR LIFE. The devil is real and he is circling my house.

P.S. It is 630AM. I am just home from the ER. They do NOT like to see me coming in the back door. The only 2 times I have, I was having a heart attack. This time they had a heart attack! I told them to settle down it was ONLY MY POOR ANKLE. Honestly, I do not think I have ever had anything hurt so bad. It throbbed all night and I had it propped and iced. I finally got up and found pain meds but sat up in the chair until 4 AM so G could take me for an XRAY. It is a bad bad sprain but the worst pain I foresee is my armpits from these crutches. I have never had crutches before and what they don't realize is that I am not coordinated anyway. I will probably be back with the other one within 24 hours. I am home from work today with a dr. note to Rest Ice Compression Elevate. Or as they say RICE it. It is going to be a long long day. Being still is not my virtue. My mother is on the way to take care of me.

AMEN

TOP 10 REASONS THAT GOD CREATED EVE 10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him. 7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself. 6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb. 5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing. 4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools. 3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone! And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve . . 1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."

I love that God has a sense of humor. I know He laughed at this.

A Little to the Left

Several months ago I sang at a friend's daughter's wedding with Becky and Tawana. As a "thank you" she gave us each a gift certificate to receive a 45 minute massage. I don't think I ever needed one like I did today and I cashed in on that THANK YOU. For 45 glorious minutes, I didn't need to talk to anyone ( I didn't even know her anyway ). I didn't need to think. The room was dark, cold and some kind of Chinese music was playing. Not exactly in my top 10 musical selections but it was soothing. I did keep thinking of Memoirs of a Geisha which was a little distracting. As you must realize by now, it is virtually impossible to put my brain to sleep. But, I did the best I could. She knew what she was doing. She worked me from neck to foot. She kneaded, rolled, squirted some kind of hot stuff that smelled like lavender on me, she popped joints, wrestled knots in my shoulders the size of Irish potatoes and left my head for last. That's right I said my head. Now mind you, I am vain. I am known to fix my hair and makeup before scheduled surgeries. She, without my permission, removed the giant clip that held my hair coiffed up in a nice little wad. Before I knew it my hair was sticking straight up in every direction. It had enough hair spray on it to hold it that way too. It did feel so good to get a head massage but I must say that it took me 30 minutes to get that clip back in so I could exit the place. This is just a warning to those of you who have never had a full body massage. Your head is going to get kneaded and rubbed. Go in expecting this and take a hairbrush. At least I had dark glasses for the ride home.

What Time Is It?

I hate it when I do this. I came home today and looked around at all things that needed to be done. Then I said to myself, "Self, why don't you take a little nap and you'll feel so refreshed when you wake up. Ready to tackle all those projects...ready to finish up all the things you have left undone since yesterday. " Three hours later I woke up. It was dark outside. I looked at the clock. "OH MY, I am late for work!" I hit the floor. Running, however, is not the description for you. I was flopping, flailing and falling all over the furniture trying to decide what to do first. Where to go. Who to call. Roll my hair or take a bath. What am I going to wear? Or as Weezer, of Steel Magnolia fame, would say, "I didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt." Hope that isn't too offensive but it was funny when Weezer said it. Anyway, it took a few seconds to regain composure and realize that it was 7:30 PM. Rats, I still had time to cook supper, wash a few loads of clothes, and of course blog. Except it is now 9:30 PM and I really don't feel like doing anything.

Still Painting

Exactly one month ago today I told you my travails with all the extra adrenalin that flowed through me. All the projects I had started and left unfinished. Just a quick update on the progress or lack of it.......

1. The front door has been left as is.........the sanding has stopped. The idea to paint my beautiful stained door black receded to the depths of my mind. Instead, I made a beautiful fall wreath to welcome visitors to my home.

2. Only son's room has been finished. The bed has been made. The packed boxes and tubs are gone. Mission accomplished.

3. Daughter # 1's room has almost been transformed. Baskets of organization are now on the shelves. A new day/trundle bed is made up for company. My computer station is organized and I am surrounded by things that make me happy and smile. Please don't look in the closets or file drawers yet.

4. The bathroom that had wallpaper shreds hanging off after 2 straight weeks of picking is almost....almost finished. The sad news for my bank account was that professionals had to be called in. The happy news for me is that it is going to be beautiful.

5. Daughter # 2's room the door remains shut. I am scared to enter. I think all the things that have made these other 4 projects be accomplished have somehow crawled into that room to kill me when I open the door. Which will by the way be sometime towards the end of next week. Around Halloween. How appropriate.

When all of this chaos is through. A new roof will be put on this house. Followed very quickly by new flooring. Then I will call it quits for another 20 years. And let the next owners do whatever they want. By that time I should be settled snugly into the new wing of the local "home" playing BINGO and racing Cindy down the hall in my wheelchair.

A Stitch In Time

I guess the title is a little gross considering the facts. I'm home from Ashley's and the surgery went well. The dr. was able to put in the McDonald Cerclage along with an added stitch for precaution. If you know anything about high risk pregnancies or pre term labor that will make sense. However, I did not. At first he had planned to perform a cerclage procedure called the rescue cerclage. In the actual surgery he decided it was too risky for the safety of the baby. It would have prevented her from months of bed rest and ensured her of going close to full term. The McDonald cerclage is basically a safety stitch. It sews up the top of the cervix to help prevent pre term labor/early dilation, etc. The downside is that she will go on bedrest probably around Christmas. As soon as the baby grows more and more it will cause pressure on the stitches and bedrest will help give her more time and keep the weight off the cervix. So keep praying! I thank you for that, I really do. The sonogram and heartrate were perfectly normal and the baby had grown in 2 weeks.

It seems like all I ever talk about on my blog is medical stuff. You would think that we were this pitiful little inactive, unhealthy, undernourished family. In all actuality we are very active and basically quite healthy. Just because I have had 2 heart attacks does NOT mean I am not healthy. It's like my momma says, "I have a condition!" LOL. We all lead way active lives! It is just when something has to go wrong we like it to be in a big way. Always the drama family. More news later. And not health updates. We have a big trip to Abilene this weekend to watch the Merkel Badgers battle Anson. Go big PURPLE. It is also ACU's homecoming so we should see lots of old friends and family. Maybe I'll find something exciting to post for you next week. And then again, maybe not.

WE NEED YOU

I haven't been ready to tell this until now. I am going to be a NEENA again. Let me say I couldn' t be happier and more afraid at the same time. Most of you know that I have a daughter that has been trying for 6 years to have a baby. She was born to be a mother. From the time she was born she had a baby doll. The population of dolls grew and grew around our house. She had all colors, shapes, sizes, hair colors. Some had eyes open, some had eyes shut. She played with and loved them all. Although she would not admit it, I know that she played with dolls until jr. high. Rather secretly. She dressed up her poor little brother and fixed his hair long before he could defend himself. Then she began to dress our poor dog up in baby clothes. It wasn't long until the entire town realized what a "prize" she was as a babysitter. She babysat, babysat, and babysat some more. She went on trips with families to help with the children. She was like the PIED PIPER. At church, her pew would be filled with all the kids. This was everywhere we went. She never ever met a kid she didn't like! So the infertility issues were so confusing to us all because we knew there would never ever be a better Christian mother. Her husband bravely stood beside her in ever venture she undertook to get pregnant. He deserves a medal. Sadly, they lost twin sons several years ago. Just not quite ready to be born at 24 weeks. It broke their hearts and mine too. How do you heal from that? Or do you just go on? Going on is the only choice that we had.......now, by the miracle of God she is almost 12 weeks pregnant without any doctor intervention. We've kept it rather quiet until we were totally sure. We have now heard the heartbeat. We have seen the baby on a sonogram. It is now very real. She is placed in the high risk catergory and they have the best doctor who has assured that he will do everything he can to prevent anything from going wrong again. So, Friday morning at 8 AM we will check her into the hospital where she will have a procedure that will hopefully prevent her body from repeating history and starting pre-term labor. Please pray for her and her husband and give them strength to get through these next few months. And pray for the outcome.........a beautiful baby. I don't believe that we should ever bargain with God for blessings. I would be so afraid to do that. I would never do it. But, I promise that this baby will know about Jesus and salvation. He will hear the story of Noah, Daniel in the Lion's Den, and the Good Samaritan. I will do my part to give the message. Please join our family and remember them in your prayers these next few months. She mentioned in her blog and I'll share with you an excerpt of what she said:

"Now....Have I mentioned that I'm so very scared. I am. Absolutely freaking paranoid. I'm scared of history repeating itself. I'm scared that things will be beautiful one day and me upside down the next. I'm scared of cramps, back aches, hearses and small coffins. I'm scared of sympathy cards instead of congratulation cards. I'm scared the room will still stay empty. I'm scared of leaving the hospital empty handed...again. Please God let all things go smoothly."
Our whole family THANKS YOU for your prayers!

Hyper Juice

For some reason these past few weeks I have been running on some type of adrenalin rush. Major rush. Total mind races. I am expecting to run out of gas any minute. Honestly though. Why can't I channel this energy into something constructive? Instead, I have left a path of destruction through this house like you wouldn't believe. You think I am kidding? Here is a small sample of what I mean.

1. I decided to take down the wallpaper in the guest bathroom about 2 weeks ago. Each night I sit and peel small amounts of shredded paper and I am not even half way through. It will not come off. So I quit for a time and took on another project.

2. I decided that I would sand and refinish my pretty front door. I put a chair outside on the porch, thinking about the mess of wallpaper, and started to slowly sand. Then I remembered why I hate to sand so much. So, halfway through that, I quit. I quit and thought how nice it would be to straighten all the kids rooms for the holidays. ( OUCH, did I say holidays?) So.....

3. I started in only son's room. With 7 large clear storage tubs. I packed trophies, pictures, notes from girls, baseball gloves, footballs, basketball jerseys from little dribblers up to high school. I packed scrap books, autographs, more trophies, certificates, caps and gowns. I packed size 4 T Dallas football pants all the way up to High School quarterback size. Then, I packed enough sports books and magazines to start a small library. All the tubs went home to Abilene to live with him in his nice new house. Now he can sit and go through them. At his leisure. I loaded all the emptied off shelves with my own books and knick knacks. I moved an antique bedroom set in there. I hung some new curtains. It all looked so nice. Then the madness really began.

4. I went into daughter # 1's room. I started doing the same thing. Oh my gosh. Tiara's, pom poms, Prom dresses, bridesmaids dresses, mums, cards dating back to her 1st birthday up to wedding congratulation cards and Welcome Baby. Every momento you can imagine. ( chip off the old block ) She has been gone from home long enough to not have accumulated as much as only son. But, still when I didn't know what to do with something I took it into only son's room. Pretty soon daughter # 1's room was turned into my new, nice and neat office. For a short time. Only son's room was a mess again.

5. I entered into daughter # 2's room. Is it legal to have 1,000 homecoming mums in one room with Strawberry Shortcakes house, a corral of My Little Ponies, Rainbow Bright, Puffalumps, Gerber baby dolls, and college textbooks. Wedding garter, prom dresses, bridesmaids dresses and megaphones from high school and college. She is alot like me in that she likes to leave everything here and she will pick it up at a later date. ( Sorry Mom...I've been gone 36 years and still have things in your attic! ) So everything that I didn't know what to do with in her room moved to daughter # 1's room and only son's room. Did I mention that I moved my treadmill into daughter # 2's room also? It takes up about half of the room. It was not turning out like I envisioned.

So, basically what I have now is:
A demolished guest bathroom
Three of the messiest rooms you have ever seen
A front door that looks like termites Housework about 2 months behind because I have been trying to work through this mess.

And here I sit at the computer. Wondering where I begin? Who do I call to help? This is serious problem and I don't see a solution in sight short of selling the house as is and moving right into the retirement home. Somebody else is going to have to cook the turkey unless things start moving in a different direction pretty soon. At this rate we won't even have room to live here.

HEY! I JUST REALIZED IT IS MY BLOGGERVERSARY. Happy wishes to me and my 6 readers.

The Verdict is In.....Almost

Home again from Houston. If you don't already have a heart condition you will trying to drive through and around and out of Houston. I had a pleasant and informative visit with Dr. Mann at Baylor Heart Institute
today. Gordon was at an LCRA conference and was not able to go with me today. So, I enlisted my BFF Becky to go with me. Also, my daughter Heather went this time since Ashley, middle daughter, had an appointment of her own.......MORE ON THAT LATER...... I am so lucky to have had them with me. They both asked questions and made me feel very much at ease as I sat in the middle. Ashley would have been in there too if she could have and I know Mitch would have been there if the miles were not such an issue. I am so very lucky and blessed by my children's love! Becky though, has a wonderful memory, unlike mine, and has been able to relate and retell me what all he said in detail. I have spent the last 2 hours in the car making her tell me again and again until I could get it all straight. Any more questions need to be directed to Becky. Dr. Mann was able to view my last stent/catherization via CD from Heart Hospital and said that from that he was certain that I do not have coronary vasculitis. I did indeed have another heart attack which was caused by almost total blockage in the RCA (right coronary artery) lower chamber this time but he saw no other evidence of another dissection. The artery was almost totally occluded or blocked and a blood clot ( yuck, don't you hate the word clot?) was thrown. This condition can happen very quickly......it isn't necessarily something that smelters for months. He said that from results of all the follow up that he could determine that I had minimal heart damage. He even said very very minimal. I did alot of calling to Heart Hospital last week and was never able to get ahold of the right person to help me recover the CD from my initial dissection/heart attack in 2001. Dr. Mann really wanted to view that one before he gave me the final verdict. So, the reason the verdict is out is I am going to spend the next few days calling, calling and calling Heart Hospital until someone goes to the Medical Records Archives/graveyard whatever and retrieves that old record. Their excuse to me each time I called was basically the same. Technology has changed so much in the last 5 years that the 2001 surgery is stored on another computer "medium" that basically would have to be re downloaded before they could record it on a cd. I don't know because I don't understand technology. I can barely borrow and carry in addition. I had some more lab work done today to test something about homocysteine and my clotting abilities. Then after the review of 2001 CD, soon to be released at a theatre near you Dr. Mann and I will get back in touch. Basically, those will be the last pieces of the puzzle for Dr. Mann and we will then consult via the telephone. He basically reinforced to me that I am not typical of any heart patient.....that I do need to be aware of chest pains, etc. But we all do! He also made me feel better by saying that he felt like I have been in very good medical care with Dr. Bailey. He said that all the notes he read from the records I provided and all the meds etc that I am on are exactly what he would have done for me. He said the familiarity of the small town relationship of patient/doctor is important. With Dr. Bailey's access to Austin facilities etc he says I am totally on the right track. That made me feel better about having so much trust and not being so informed. However, I am planning to continue this aggressive patient conduct and stay on top of everything. If for some reason, and hopefully not, Dr. Bailey is insulted that I got a second opinion I will use another highly recommended cardio that is also a 'ville regular. When all the results are in during the next few weeks, I will try to never bore you with "heart condition" posts. This just really saves time and repetition in getting the word out to the 6 of you who have asked. And prayed. And cared. In a nutshell for now until further notice, I do have mild coronary artery disease ( genetically...probably on the Whitfield side, sorry Poppi ) which is controllable by exercise, diet, medications, etc. All the not fun stuff to do. I did not hear the words Blue Bell Fudge Nut Brownie mentioned once. And by the way ....... my treadmill is not for sale anymore.

No News is Good News

For those 6 or so of you that read my blog you already know this but I'll say it again.

I had a very extensive 2 days of testing, etc at Baylor Heart Institute in Houston. Basically I went in for a second opinion. There were some issues that were bothering me and I wasn't really getting the answers to the questions I was asking. So I subjected myself to another doctor and I was poked, prodded, xrayed, nucleared, interviewed, etc...... I was very impressed with the thouroughness of it all. The dr I saw also happens to be the Chief of Staff of the whole place. He spent about 2 hours talking with me. You know I liked that.......it was all about me! I had previously faxed about 65 pages of medical records so that he could look over my history before I came. And, as Ashley would say, I sent along the introductory novel. And I did. I just hate going to see new doctors when they don't have a clue who are they are going to see. So, I have this little thing that I always forward along so they know what to expect when they do meet me. Things like where I live, work, things I like to do, etc......I know it sounds silly but he said he wished all his patients did that. But, it very much broke the ice and the new dr. / patient relationship. He pretty much reinforced what I have been told a million times and that is how very fortunate I am to be alive. He feels like the second episode should not have happened and was most likely started by another smaller dissection located in the same coronary artery as the first. I have to call Heart Hospital tomorrow and have the actual "footage" of both my surgeries ( '01 & 06 ) for him to watch. He said that they should be on cd and I have a right as a patient to request them. Jeepers, I hope I wasn't slobbering or anything. I must say that my L'Oreal lipstick stayed on for at least 12 hours during that last surgery. It wasn't as eventful as the hair issue before which I am sure my girls would love to tell you about! I then go back on the 14th for the conclusion. I wish Houston wasn't so far and I could continue as his patient. However, he has absolutely NO IDEA the stress I went through just trying to find his office through Houston. A person could get killed there! I do feel like I need to find a doctor that treats me more aggressively. So, on the dr. issue I am in a dilemma because I really like the dr. I had. He is just almost too sweet, does that make sense? So, for now, that is where I stand. I'll wait to post again when I return from the 14th's visit with all the good news. And Terrie, when you "cut up with God" in the morning as you say, please remind him of me! Maybe he'll ride with me again on the 14th.