Saturday, June 02, 2007

I AM AN HGTV Addict











OUCH....that hurt. Confession though feels free! I am the queen of too many projects at one time. It stems from late night hours of watching HGTV and all the easy do it yourself project that can be done. These projects can be completed in 1 hour segments while never breaking a sweat and wearing your best khakis. My big strong and virile son came home for 2 days to help me complete "some" of these projects knowing full well his mother was as usual, "biting off more than she could chew".

My intentions are so very good though. My house is my CASTLE and my refuge!

We rented sanders, bought paint, brushes, and drop cloths and started to refinish and stain the deck around the pool. This area is my sanctuary and I felt it needed a face lift. For the first day and a half I pretty much just stayed in the way. ( as usual ) He whirred and sanded and sweated. Occassionally, he shot me a dirty look. I had forgotton what that felt like so I lurked inside watching HGTV. We only had the BIG sander rented for 24 hours and he used it about 12! There were areas that the big thing couldn't get to so the next day we rented a smaller version and he rode that thing around the deck for about 6 hours. I think he remembers now why he left home and went to college to get a degree. Anyway, when he pulled away on Friday evening he was all apologetic that he couldn't stay and finish but I assured him that the hardest part was done and I could complete the rest, NO PROBLEM.

I stayed up late Friday night and by the light of the moon and the porch I started painting little white spindles. I just had to have these CUTE little white spindles around the deck. Saturday morning I'm up and at 'em again painting little white spindles. WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN? WHERE IS THE HIRED HELP? I JUST GOT MY NAILS DONE! My mantra has been to look only 3 spindles ahead and mutter, "Oh, only 3 more to go!" Not letting myself see the other 75,000,000 ahead! I am inside the house now. After 4 hours. I am ready to curl up in a ball. So......left to be done is:

  • Touch up ( at least 6 hours worth ) of spindles, railings and dropped paint splatters. Did I mention that I am the messiest and sloppiest painter in the world? I hate to paint. Even Tawana stopped by and took pity on me and joined me in painting for a couple of hours. Friends are wonderful. Then she mentioned something about having to pull out her wisdom teeth with a pair of rusty pliers and running bamboo splinters under her toenails so she had to leave.
  • Finish taping around little panes on 2 sets of French door windows to be able to paint doors.
  • Paint the steps on both sides of the deck while promising God that I will never start another home improvement project without His blessing and a lot of money in the bank to hire it to be done. OOOOOOH did I say promise? I meant I would pray about it more before I started one.
  • WHINE AND MUMBLE really pitifully so that hubby will come out and reach the high parts so I don't have to climb up and down the ladder. Clutch my chest.
  • Go back to Home Depot and get more paint for the trim because I ran out. I can not accurately calculate anything. It looked like enough.
  • Let it all dry completely for 6 weeks or more.
  • Roll the stain over the deck. Let dry 12 more weeks or more.
  • Call and beg my son to back again. Have him bring friends. Have him bring the football team. And the baseball team.
  • Go to the bank and borrow 5 million dollars to finish this project
  • Call my other children and tell them what a wonderful mother I was and why aren't they all here to help me????
  • Take the front door down and paint it along with the porch swing. This only took 30 minutes on HGTV.
  • Doctor the wasp stings on my ankles from trying to take the porch swing down by myself yesterday . DANG those things hurt.
  • Call the travel agency and get on this.

    And when we get back I need to start ripping up the carpet in the house so that we can lay new flooring. Anyone got some extra vacation time to spare to give an old lady a hand?

***** Update at 7 PM

Things progressed nicely. Tawana came back and we went to Home Depot and got the extra gallon of paint. We painted and touched up for a couple of hours and called it quits for the day. I am now headed for the shower to see if I can get this paint off me. Hopefully, by Monday I'll be able to roll on the decking stain. Then after that dries.....how long I don't know, I will go to Walmart and buy me some lovely new outdoor furniture. I'll pitch all the "junk" and I'll make HGTV wish they had been in on this multimillion dollar project with $ 1.00 under budget! Pictures to follow.

8 comments:

Heather said...

Sorry I can't come and help. I'm sick...yeah, that's it...I'm sick. It's some kind of rare illness.

Paul said...

LOL! You are too much! Oh, I would love to help but I have to walk to Alaska and back or something like that. Then I have to...do something else really important, I mean really important, or I would come help. Good luck!

Lynn said...

YEAH I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU 2. Yall are those kind of fly by nighter friends. But, Heather I was in labor with you for 18 hours. That was before epidurals. All I had was a rusty nail and a bottle of Jack Daniels. You turned out alright. Don't call me when an alligator is under your bed.

Giggi said...

Oh, I'm afraid I share this addiction with you. Where's that Joan girl when you need her??? I really would help if was there. Sorry...Love you Sissy.

Anonymous said...

If I was about 30 years younger I would be right there to help. Sorry I can't turn back years---but I am praying for you to quit berfore you drop. Love you. nana

Hollie Reese said...

Could you come to my house??? It could use a little TLC!

Lacie said...

LOL! Did you know that Heather helped me paint my whole kitchen twice in two days (because I didn't like the color)! Shhhhh!!!!!

I'm sure it will look great!

Snapshot said...

You are so funny!